Letter

Band 7+: You work in a busy but poorly organized office and you are keen to be promoted. Your employer needs to find a new supervisor for your department. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter • Ask to be considered for this job • Explain why you would be a suitable candidate • Outline the current problems and the changes you would like to make

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Dear Mike,

I am writing to apply for the position of Supervisor at Loreal Core department, which was posted on the carrier build website of the company on October 1st.

I hold a certified degree of Computers and bring 5 years of professional experience in this company as a team lead. During my tenure at this company, I successfully achieved employee of the year certified from past three consecutive years, spearheaded many projects that increased company revenue and level. These experiences have equipped me with expertise in supervision.

At the current situation of our department, we don’t have proper structure plans and customer satisfaction because of our poor management.

I am confident that my background and enthusiasm would allow me to make a significant contribution to your organization. Please find my resume attached. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my application in greater detail at a interview.

Thank you for considering my candidacy.

Yours sincerely,

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

company: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by requesting consideration for the supervisor position, explaining suitability, and outlining problems and changes. However, the outline of current problems and proposed changes could be more detailed and specific to fully satisfy the task requirements. To improve, provide more concrete examples of the problems and the changes you would implement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the message is easy to follow. The paragraphing is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow. For example, elaborating on the connection between your achievements and suitability for the supervisor role could strengthen the argument.

Lexical Resource

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. Terms like 'spearheaded,' 'tenure,' and 'significant contribution' are well-chosen. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider using more varied and sophisticated language to describe the problems in the department and the changes you propose. For instance, instead of 'poor management,' you could use 'inefficient operational workflows' or 'lack of strategic oversight.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. Pay close attention to sentence structure and word choice to ensure clarity and precision. For example, in the third paragraph, rephrasing 'At the current situation of our department, we don't have proper structure plans and customer satisfaction because of our poor management' to something like 'Currently, our department lacks structured planning, which negatively impacts customer satisfaction due to inefficient management practices' would improve both grammar and clarity.

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