Letter

Band 6+: You recently used a delivery service to send a package to a relative, but the package was lost or damaged in transit. Write a letter to the delivery company's complaints department. Include: details of the package and what happened; how this has caused problems for you or the recipient; what compensation or action you expect from the company.

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Good afternoon,

I am writing this letter to expose my complain of your delivery service in the Queensland area. I had sent the postage the 23rd of September through your post office in Cairns City and I explained how important this delivery was to me to the employee that helped me, I shipped several real Australian Opals to my family in Italy with the most expansive insurance you can supply, still the parcel traking number stopped working after the parcel left the Australian Territory and it never arrived to my parents.

More than being just expensive those gems were dear to me because they would have reached my future wife as a gift before our wedding.

I expect a compensation for my loss because of your company’s negligence or I will have to contact a lawyer and proceed with the help of the law.

I hope to have an answer soon, thank you for your time.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements, including details about the package contents, the date sent, the impact on the sender, and the expected action (compensation). However, there are some omissions and lapses: the letter does not explicitly request that the company trace the package, and the tone is somewhat confrontational with the threat of legal action, which may not be appropriate for a complaint letter. To improve, consider adding a request for the company to investigate the matter, and adopt a more polite and professional tone while still being firm. Additionally, ensure all details are clearly and accurately presented, such as specifying the exact date and providing a clear subject line.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent and the message can be followed, but there are some lapses in cohesion. The opening sentence is abrupt and could be improved with a clearer subject line or greeting. The flow from the description of the incident to the impact and expected action is logical, but the use of long, run-on sentences (e.g., the second sentence) makes it harder to follow. Paragraphing is not used; the letter is a single block of text, which could be improved by breaking it into paragraphs for better readability. Consider using cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'In addition' to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at formal language (e.g., 'expose my complain', 'expansive insurance', 'negligence'). However, there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrasings: 'expose my complain' should be 'express my complaint', 'postage' should be 'package', 'expansive' should be 'expensive', 'traking' should be 'tracking', and 'the parcel left the Australian Territory' is slightly awkward. The range of vocabulary is limited, and more precise and natural expressions could be used. For example, instead of 'I had sent the postage the 23rd of September', you could say 'I sent the package on 23rd September'. To improve, use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct word choice.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example: 'I had sent the postage the 23rd of September' should be 'I sent the package on 23rd September'; 'with the most expansive insurance you can supply' should be 'with the most expensive insurance you offer'; 'traking' should be 'tracking'; 'it never arrived to my parents' should be 'it never arrived at my parents' house'. The sentence 'More than being just expensive those gems were dear to me because they would have reached my future wife as a gift before our wedding' is grammatically awkward and could be rephrased. The letter also lacks proper punctuation in places, such as missing commas after introductory phrases. To improve, focus on sentence structure, verb tenses, and proofreading for spelling and punctuation errors.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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