Letter

Band 4+: You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear .......................,

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Dear Sam,

I am writing to requast to move from my carunte department to another one in the same company, in this periode i learned many things that can help me to develop my skills in my field, the teamwork was amazing they were very helpful and they tought me dealing with problems. Iam writing to ask you to give me this opportunity because i would like to improve my skills and gain new experince, that will increase my productivite in work . in additon, if i stay in the same department i will remain in the same position and that is not my goals to enhance the company.

I would like to mention that i dont want ti leave this orgnization because it made me achevie many goals i was never thought i could achive it .

I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my view further in an interview. please contact me to arrange a convenient time.

I look forward to your prompt response, I trust you choose and contributing to improving my career.

Yours sincerely,

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the three required points, but there are notable omissions and inaccuracies. You mention learning teamwork and problem-solving, but the benefit to the company is vague ('increase my productivite') and not clearly linked to a specific department. The reason for not leaving the company is underdeveloped, focusing only on personal achievement rather than loyalty or company values. The tone is appropriate, but the letter lacks specific details and clear organization. To improve, expand on each bullet point with concrete examples, clarify how your move would directly benefit the company, and strengthen your explanation for staying. Also, proofread for spelling and grammar errors (e.g., 'requast', 'carunte', 'experince', 'orgnization').

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter addresses the task points but lacks clear paragraphing and logical flow. Ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. To improve, organise the letter into distinct paragraphs for each bullet point, and use linking words (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', 'In addition') to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'requast' for 'request', 'carunte' for 'current', 'experince' for 'experience') and inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'productivite' for 'productivity') reduce clarity. Expand your vocabulary and proofread carefully to avoid such mistakes. Use more precise and natural expressions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Numerous grammatical errors are present, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure (e.g., 'they tought me dealing with problems' should be 'they taught me how to deal with problems'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practise constructing complex sentences, and edit your work for accuracy.

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