Letter

Band 5+: You recently purchased a new laptop from an online store, but it arrived with several defects. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged laptop. You should include details about: - the specific defects you found on the laptop - how the defects are affecting the laptop's performance - what resolution you expect from the online store (e.g., repair, replacement, or refund).

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Hello Jay gadget store,

I am writing to inform you of the damage on the Mac book laptop purchased on Friday, my order number 3457993 should help providing more detail about this laptop.

Upon delivery, I observed the laptop has some lines on the screen which was not visible upon inspection, the screen touch was not responding properly as it should, and charging port was not functioning.

This was my first encounter with Jays’ gadget store and my experience so far is nothing encouraging. I will immediately request a refund or a replacement for the laptop or I will be forced to take legal actions against your outlet and claim damages for the stress I encountered while purchasing this laptop.

Yours sincerely,

Word Count: 123

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

laptop: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by providing the purchase details, describing the damage, and stating the desired actions. However, the tone is somewhat aggressive and could be more polite while still conveying the urgency and dissatisfaction. To improve, consider softening the language in the request for resolution and focusing on a collaborative approach to finding a solution. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. Consider dedicating a separate paragraph to each of the points mentioned in the task instructions (purchase details, damage description, and desired action). This will enhance clarity and flow. Also, avoid overly aggressive tones; instead, maintain a polite and professional approach.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise. For instance, instead of 'lines on the screen,' you could describe the damage more specifically (e.g., 'a cracked screen' or 'dead pixels'). Using a wider range of vocabulary related to electronics and customer service would improve the letter.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the laptop has some lines on the screen which was not visible upon inspection' could be rephrased for better accuracy and flow. Review and correct grammatical errors to improve the overall quality of your writing. Also, be careful about punctuation.

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