Letter

Band 7+: You recently purchased a product online, but it arrived with a significant defect. Write a letter to the company explaining the situation. You should include details about: - the product you purchased and the date of purchase - the nature of the defect - what action you would like the company to take.

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Respected Mr. Brown,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am Habiba, a recent customer of your online furniture store, Modern Furnish. Last week, I ordered a sliding wardrobe in the color Cigar Brown with a large mirror attached to it. However, I was deeply disappointed with the product I received due to its damaged state. In this letter, I will be elaborating more on the damage and what I expect the company to do as a compensation.

To begin with, I received a black wardrobe despite ordering a different color. Additionally, the product was in a poor state with scratch marks and discoloration in some parts. And what truly saddened me was the attached mirror, which was shattered. This inconvenience was truly disheartening considering the brand’s popularity and recognition. This disruption has caused great difficulty for me as this product was to be given to a newlywed couple as a gift during the wedding, but due to this unfortunate outcome, I am unable to do what I planned on.

Considering the trouble I have went through, I would expect the company to compensate. I would humbly request for a replacement of my product within the end of the week without any extra charges such as delivery or replacement charges. However, if the substitution cannot be done in time, I will expect a full refund after all the sum which I paid was significant, I believe. I respectfully ask for you to contribute in this matter and I would be glad to provide you with any further information if needed.

Yours faithfully, Habiba.

Word Count: 264

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

product: 4

expect: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all requirements of the task, providing relevant details about the purchase, the damage, and the expected resolution. The tone is suitable for a formal letter. Minor improvements could include more specific details about the purchase date and a slightly more concise expression of the desired compensation.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The purpose of the letter is immediately apparent, and the progression of ideas is logical. However, there are a few areas where coherence could be improved. For instance, in the second paragraph, the transition between the color discrepancy and the physical damage could be smoother. Also, the connection between the damage and the gift for the newlywed couple could be more explicitly linked to the request for compensation. To enhance cohesion, consider using more varied cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea.

Lexical Resource

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using appropriate terms related to the context of online shopping and product complaints. Phrases like 'deeply disappointed,' 'damaged state,' 'scratch marks,' and 'discoloration' are effective in conveying the issue. However, there are opportunities to elevate the lexical resource further by incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions. For example, instead of 'in a poor state,' you could use 'in a dilapidated condition.' Also, be mindful of word choice to ensure it aligns with the tone and formality of the letter.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect the overall clarity and accuracy. For example, 'Considering the trouble I have went through' should be 'Considering the trouble I have gone through.' Also, the sentence 'after all the sum which I paid was significant, I believe' is awkwardly phrased and could be improved for better clarity and flow. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to enhance grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully before submission can help identify and correct these errors.

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