Multiple Graphs

Band 6+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The charts below describe 4 sectors of employment, in 2009 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

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Image for topic: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The charts below describe 4 sectors of employment, in 2009 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

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The image displays employment distribution in four sectors within Town A for years 2009 and 2020 via two circular charts; in 2009, Manufacturing accounts for 60%, Hospitality 11%, Engineering 9%, Teaching 20%; by 2020, Manufacturing remains at 60%, Hospitality adjusts to 17%, Engineering 8%, Teaching 15%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The illustration represents an information about employed people in four different sectors in Town A

Overall, we can see that the most significant change was in manufacturing, which became dominant in 2020, while hospitality, which was the largest sector in 2009, had a sharp decline. The other two sectors, engineering and teaching, stayed without almost any changes.

In 2009, hospitality accounted for the largest amount of employment, 60%. Manufacturing was the second biggest sector, 20% of people. Engineering and teaching were much smaller, representing 11% and 9% respectively.

However, by 2020, manufacturing grew dramatically to 60%, becoming the leading sector. In contrast, hospitality dropped sharply to just 15%, less than a third of its previous amount. Engineering had a moderate increase from 11% to 17%. Meanwhile, teaching experienced a tiny decrease, falling from 9% to 8%

Word Count: 136

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

manufacturing: 3

hospitality: 3

sector: 3

engineering: 3

teaching: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the employment distribution in Town A across the four sectors for both years. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reported, and the overview is not entirely accurate. To improve, ensure the data is accurately represented and that the overview correctly identifies the main trends and changes. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a clear overview and follows a logical structure, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for each year. However, the transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance coherence. For instance, using transition words or phrases to connect the changes between 2009 and 2020 would improve the flow. Paragraphing is generally well-managed, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the data, such as 'dominant,' 'sharp decline,' 'moderate increase,' and 'tiny decrease.' However, the range of vocabulary could be expanded to provide a more nuanced description. Consider using synonyms or more specific terms to describe the changes and proportions. For example, instead of 'much smaller,' you could use 'significantly lower' or 'considerably less.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with generally accurate sentence structures and punctuation. There are a few minor errors, but they do not significantly impede understanding. To improve further, pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and precise preposition usage. Varying sentence structures could also enhance the grammatical range.

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