Letter

Band 5+: You successfully passed a job interview. You are expected to start on November 15, but you will not be available on that date. Task: Write a letter to your new boss, explaining your situation, expressing your concern and suggesting a solution.

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Good afternoon Mrs. Jashan,

I am so glad that I cleared the interview for RECE position in Child Care Algoma which is located in Saukt Site Marie. I am looking forward to to work here but there is one issue .

As you already gave me a start day which is on November fifteen but I am not able to start on this date because as I already mentioned to you that I am doing full time job in daycare . When I told to my supervisor I am moving somewhere for my further Permanent Residency process she said to me I have to give two weeks notice before leaving this job. If I didn’t give any notice to them then I am in big trouble .

I am really sorry about my inconvenience and I do not want to lose this opportunity . I am waiting for this chance from so longer time . Even I heard lots of good things about your daycare. I really want to take part of your team .I hope you understand my situation if I do not give notice to them they will never give me my documents those are really worthful for me in future .

I have one request about my starting date . Is that possible to postpone my start date by Ist of October. I am very thankful to you for your understanding and help. I am waiting for your reply with positive feedback.

Thank you

Lakhjot Kaur

Word Count: 249

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

start: 3

notice: 3

really: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by explaining the situation, expressing concern, and suggesting a solution. However, the letter includes some irrelevant information and could be more clearly organized. To improve, focus on concise and direct language, and ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose. For example, the details about hearing good things about the daycare are not necessary for the request.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping related ideas into distinct paragraphs to enhance clarity. For example, the explanation of your current job and the need for a notice period could form one paragraph, while your enthusiasm for the new position and the request for a delayed start date could form another. Using more transitional phrases would also help to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying 'I am,' try rephrasing sentences to sound more natural. Explore synonyms for words like 'good,' 'big,' and 'worthful' to add depth to your writing. Also, ensure that the vocabulary you use is appropriate for a formal letter to your new boss.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage (a/an/the). For example, 'November fifteen' should be 'November fifteenth,' and 'Ist of October' should be '1st of December'. Also, work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence conveys a clear and concise message. Proofreading carefully before submitting will help catch these errors.

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