Letter

Band 4+: You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it

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Dear Mr Brown,

I am writing this letter regarding an announcement email, which i recieved from Company HR about oppourtunity to working in our head office at Canada.

Accoording to the email i noticed that two staff members can get chanse to work at our head offoce branch. I am realy intersting take this valuble opportunity and i am exited to work at head office for six month period.

I would like to mention the reason that i want to work in the head Office.Firstly, from my profetional perspective it provides huge career advancement and i am able to work with multicultural staff in canada. Although working aborad with new staff will be hard, i can gain vast experince about system of head office and modern technogy that they used.In otherhand my loving brother has been live in Canada and if i select for this i can spend lovly time with my brother and his family.

Moreover i would like to sugest that , i can arrange one of co-worker Anny bay for lead my part and Mrs Anny agreed to work as a substitutor for next 6 months.Furthermore through out this period Mrs Anny will handle my responsibilties under my guidness.

i am looking foward your immidiate response.

your faithfuly

Rashmi Dissanayake

Word Count: 213

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

office: 3

staff: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements, explaining the reasons for wanting to work at the head office, suggesting how the work could be covered, and asking for help. There are some minor lapses in formality and language accuracy, but overall, the letter is well-organized and conveys the message effectively. To improve, focus on refining grammar and using more formal language where appropriate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your reasoning. For example, clearly separate the professional and personal reasons for wanting to work in the head office. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of 'realy intersting take this valuble opportunity,' you could use more sophisticated phrases like 'keen to seize this invaluable opportunity.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will make your writing more engaging and impactful.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage (e.g., 'the' vs. 'a'). For example, 'Accoording to the email i noticed' should be 'According to the email, I noticed.' Proofreading carefully and focusing on sentence structure will significantly improve your grammatical accuracy.

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