Letter

Band 7+: You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it

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Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my interest to be transferred to the head office at Canada for a period of six months. Recently, my father was diagnosed with cancer and was referred to the general hospital located in Canada, where they are currently running a clinical trial on the disease.

Due to this development, I have to follow my Dad for his treatment and I believe I can continue working with this company since we have a branch there. As for my present projects, I can do the majority of the tasks remotely.The remaining tasks can be done by my colleague Tolu. I have spoken to her and she totally agrees with the arrangement.

The main purpose of this letter is to plead with you to help me process the transfer, this way I get to follow my Dad and continue working. I was told that the first step would be to send a recommendation and transfer letter to them. After which they will contact me.

I look forward to your response and please contact me if you need any further documents.

Yours sincerely,

Adedayo Deborah.

Word Count: 188

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses all the requirements of the task, explaining the reason for wanting to work in the head office, suggesting how the work could be done, and asking for help with the arrangement. The reason provided is strong and personal, which adds a layer of justification. To improve, ensure the tone remains consistently professional despite the personal context. Also, while the letter is clear, elaborating slightly more on the specific tasks and how they can be managed remotely or by the colleague could strengthen the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the purpose is clear. The progression of ideas is logical, explaining the reason for the request, how work will be managed, and the specific help needed. To improve coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. For example, you could add a sentence at the end of the second paragraph that clearly links to the request for a transfer in the third paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the message effectively. To enhance lexical resource, consider using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary related to work arrangements and personal circumstances. For example, instead of 'follow my Dad,' you could use 'accompany my father.' Also, vary the language used to make requests; instead of just 'plead with you to help me process the transfer,' explore alternative expressions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. Pay attention to article usage (e.g., 'the head office in Canada' is correct). Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage throughout. While the grammar is generally accurate, refining these areas will enhance the overall impression.

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Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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