Letter

Band 5+: You would like a temporary job working in a summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children an young people next summer. Write a letter to the organisers of the summer camp. In your letter: explain what sort of job you would like to do. describe your personality. say what experience and skills you have. You should write at least 150 words

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Dear Sir / Madam,

I am Ezequiel Nicolas Santoro, from Buenos Aires, Argentina. I will be soon in New Zeland, I got a working holiday Visa for one year. My plan is travel to there at the end of October, since my intention is to work the summer season, However, I would be in conditions to extend that period for the rest of my stay.

I am really interested in working for you summer camp. I was looking your website, all the sports an outdoor activities, such as the archery tournament that they organize, that it itself sound really well. Also, the water sports in the local lake.

I would like to let you know, I am friendly person; sociable and good-natured, above all with a youg soul. Because of this, I am thinking my personality fits perfectly for the place.

Not least, I should mention that I have no experience, but I am good doing any kind of sports, my best skill is I am versatile as well as quick learner.

I hope to hear from you.

Your faithfully,

Ezequiel Santoro

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the desired job, describing the writer's personality, and mentioning skills. However, the letter could benefit from more specific details about the type of job desired and concrete examples of skills and experiences, even if limited. To improve, provide more specific examples to strengthen your claims and ensure all aspects of the task are fully addressed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. Consider dedicating a paragraph to each of the points mentioned in the task instructions (job preference, personality, experience/skills). This would enhance clarity and flow. Also, ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the overall reading experience.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more specific and varied vocabulary related to sports, outdoor activities, and personal qualities. For example, instead of just saying 'good at sports,' mention specific sports you excel at. Also, replace common words with more sophisticated alternatives where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct article usage. For example, 'I will be soon in New Zeland' should be 'I will soon be in New Zealand.' Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical flexibility.

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