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Letter

Band 5+: You would like a temporary job working in a summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children an young people next summer. Write a letter to the organisers of the summer camp. In your letter: explain what sort of job you would like to do. describe your personality. say what experience and skills you have. You should write at least 150 words

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the job teacher as advertised at news or at your school number 53.

Well, I would like to learn children and young people from PES. I can effortless communicate with them.

First of all I want to introduce myself, my full name is Kallibekova Shakhnoza. I am 25 years old. As I said above that I desire to work at your school. I am so friendly and generous and because of this I have abilities working with people, especially teaching them.

So, I have 4 years experience from learning. Before this I worked at school number 36. During this time I was responsible for children like when they came and when they went home and furthermore look after them. I have obtained a certificate in this subject and Moreover recently I successfully completed a course in English and soon I will take Multilevel exams. I appreciate your earliest convenience and I am available for an interview at any time. I hope you will obtain me.

Your faithfully,

Shakhnoza Kallibekova.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6

The letter addresses the task requirements, but there are some areas for improvement. The letter includes irrelevant information and inaccuracies. To improve, focus on providing clear and relevant details about the desired work, personality, and relevant experience. Ensure the information is accurate and directly relates to the job requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

5

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but could be improved with more distinct paragraphing to separate the introduction, explanation of desired work, personality description, and experience. Transitions between ideas could also be smoother to enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the letter. For example, instead of 'learn children,' consider using 'teach children.' Expanding the range of vocabulary related to teaching and outdoor activities would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5

The letter contains grammatical errors that occasionally impede understanding. Focus on improving sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct usage of prepositions and articles. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and avoid run-on sentences.

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You would like a temporary job working in a summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children an young people next summer. Write a letter to the organisers of the summer camp. In your letter: explain what sort of job you would like to do. describe your personality. say what experience and skills you have. You should write at least 150 words

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