Letter

Band 4+: Your company is organizing a charity run to raise money for a local hospital, and you want to invite employees from other departments to participate. Write a letter to your colleagues inviting them to join the run. You should include details about: - The purpose of the charity run and who it's benefiting - The date, time, and location of the run - How they can register and what support will be provided

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Dear Mr. David

Hope this email finds you well

I am writing to express my interest for upcoming new charity compaign I read at announcement this morning.

First of all, I always want to do something to help our community developed, so that why I am so excited when I know company has prepared a compaign to support social neighbour. Moreover, I think I can meet co-workers the same department as well as other to efficiently encourage them to participate with me.

Secondly, during the upcoming project, I believe our employees would differently contribute some kinds of activities such as providing free water, some others can be runners. As a result, I totally believe our employee’s relationship will significantly improve as employee’s performances will be increased.

Finally, I would appreciate in order to name my team like “we won”, this meaning exactly the same name we created. In additional, I think that is good ideas for each team will have their own name, perhaps they will have more motivation for these competition.

Thank you for your attention. I looking for to hearing from you soon!

Sincerely,

Tan Phat Vu

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by expressing interest in participating and offering help, but there are several inaccuracies and omissions. The reasons for participation are somewhat vague, and the specific help offered is not clearly defined. The team name is mentioned, but the explanation is confusing. To improve, provide clear and specific details for each bullet point, ensure the tone is appropriately formal, and proofread for grammatical errors and clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Moreover', 'As a result', 'Finally'). The overall message can be followed, but with some effort. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea. Also, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'compaign' instead of 'campaign', 'social neighbour' instead of 'local community', 'differently contribute' instead of 'contribute in different ways'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some phrases are repetitive. To improve, expand your vocabulary related to charity events and teamwork, and practice using words in the correct context. Also, avoid direct translation from your native language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the letter, including subject-verb agreement ('I looking' instead of 'I am looking'), incorrect verb forms ('to help our community developed' instead of 'to help develop our community'), and missing articles ('upcoming new charity compaign' instead of 'the upcoming new charity campaign'). Punctuation is also inconsistent (e.g., missing comma after 'Dear Mr. David'). To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially verb tenses, articles, and prepositions. Practice writing sentences with a variety of structures and proofread your work carefully.

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