Letter

Band 4+: Your company is organizing a volunteer day at a local charity and you want to invite your colleagues to participate. Write an email to your colleagues inviting them to join the volunteer day. You should include: - the name and type of charity you'll be volunteering for - the date, time, and location of the volunteer event - what kind of activities they'll be involved in and what they should bring

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Dear team,

I hope this message delivered well. I respectfully giving this invitation for those who are intersted. This message belongs to all the colleagues whose interested to join a volunteer day at a local charity. The local charity we are going to support is The John Foundation which has a really good health services. This charity has a mission which help people who needs a serious help such as homeless. This charity also helps a drunkard who wants to fix their lifes.

We will have this volunteer day started in saturday morning. This volunteer activities will lasts around 3 hours started at 8 AM until 11 AM. The charity will explain everything when everyone is ready to start the activity. Our task is kinda simple, we just have to share some foods to people who need it.

I personally think that this is a great cause, because this will show everyone that humanity is still exist in this century which causes many chaos on several places such as deadly war causes many people dies. Thats it, those who are interested on this volunteer days, you can definitely register yourself by mail us at localcharity@gmail.com.We would by honored by your presence.

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

charity: 5

volunteer: 4

which: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all the requirements of the task, explaining the charity's mission, the event's details, and the reasons for supporting the cause. However, there are some areas for improvement. The tone could be more engaging and persuasive to encourage participation. Additionally, the letter could benefit from more specific details about the activities and the impact volunteers can make. Some sentences are a bit awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between points to guide the reader. For example, when transitioning from introducing the charity to detailing the event, a phrase like 'Regarding the volunteer day itself...' would help. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed to fully convey your message. For instance, instead of saying the charity 'has a really good health services,' you could say it 'provides essential healthcare services.' Similarly, replace 'drunkard who wants to fix their lifes' with 'individuals struggling with addiction seeking rehabilitation.' Expanding your vocabulary will make your writing more impactful.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that impede understanding. For example, 'I respectfully giving this invitation' should be 'I am respectfully extending this invitation.' Also, 'whose interested' should be 'who are interested.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage to improve grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully before submitting your writing can help catch these errors.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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