Letter

Band 5+: Your company recently implemented a new policy that affects your daily work routine. Your manager has noticed that you seem unhappy with the change and has asked for your feedback. Write a letter to your manager explaining your concerns. You should include details about: - what specific aspects of the new policy you are unhappy with - how it has impacted your work performance or productivity - what suggestions you have for improving the policy

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Dear Manager:

I am writing to give you my concern and struggle with new policy recently. I believe forcefully ask staff to turn on camera when one is work from home does not create an atmosphere of trust, self motivation and productivity. If monitering efficiency is the aim of the policy, there could be more appropriate approches.

Firstly, I am not sure if presentation of oneself for data collecting purposes is in line with GDPR. Secondly, work from home should support staff’s productivity by eliminating distraction. The new policy is heading the opposite direction. The camera not only make me anxious about how I look, but I have to also pay more attention to surroundings for privacy. Distraction causes low productivity in the past weeks as I spend even more time on checking myself.

I would suggest our company update productivity management system instead. Everyone can check on the team’s progress, and keep record of their own timesheet.

I look forward to hear from you.

Kind regards,

David

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

productivity: 4

policy: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements, covering the specific aspects of the new policy (mandatory camera use), its impact on productivity, and suggestions for improvement. The tone is appropriate and the structure is clear. However, there are some lapses in clarity and detail. For instance, the reference to GDPR is vague and could be more specific. Additionally, the impact on productivity could be elaborated with concrete examples. The suggestions are relevant but could be more developed. Overall, the response is adequate but lacks the depth and precision expected for a higher band score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'new policy recently' and 'the new policy is heading the opposite direction'). The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some ideas could be more logically connected. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and transition words to guide the reader through your points.

Lexical Resource

The letter uses some appropriate vocabulary (e.g., 'atmosphere of trust', 'self motivation', 'productivity management system'), but there are several word choice errors and awkward collocations (e.g., 'give you my concern', 'forcefully ask staff', 'monitering efficiency', 'approches'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some terms are used inaccurately. To improve, expand your vocabulary and ensure words are used in the correct context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the letter, including subject-verb agreement ('camera not only make me'), incorrect verb forms ('I have to also pay'), and missing articles ('new policy recently'). Punctuation is also inconsistent (e.g., missing commas). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is limited use of complex sentences. To improve, focus on grammar accuracy and practice using a wider range of sentence structures.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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