Discussion

Band 5+: 📝TASK 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People have different views as to whether studying at university or college is best route to a successful career or better to get a job straight after school. I fully agree with the former view.

One argument in favor of studying at university or college is that it will provide wide range of knowledges and experiences.That is, when students get enough knowledge and diplom, there will be a plenty of jobs that will definitely apply them.For example, if you studied medicine and got the diplom you can apply to big companies to work because of your skill and experience. As a result, you can get high salaries and promotion to success.If it were not for success , you may be lack of skills and would work for low salary jobs.Given that, education at university and college give you more opportunities to a successful career.However, the opposite argument is that getting a job straight after school also gives you experience and skill in certain types of jobs. In other words, you can get a job after school by saving you time.For instance, when you finish your school you can apply to jobs that starts from low salary and step by step you may get promotion if you will work hard. Consequently you might become the manager with the experience. Therefore, this way is also allows you to save time and get more experience.

In conclusion, although after school you may get job and work by getting promotion step by step, I believe that studying at university or college gives more opportunities, knowledges and developments to successful career and real life experiences.

Word Count: 270

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 5

university: 4

college: 4

after: 4

studying: 3

successful: 3

apply: 3

experience: 3

promotion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples are somewhat generic and could be more specific and persuasive. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations and stronger evidence to support your arguments. Also, ensure that your position is consistently clear throughout the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by grammatical errors and unclear phrasing. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need improvement to enhance coherence. For example, the connection between the example of studying medicine and the subsequent claim about high salaries needs to be more explicit. Consider using clearer signposting language to guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'diplom' instead of 'diploma'). To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to education and career success. Pay attention to using synonyms and avoiding repetition of the same words and phrases. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and problems with articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. For example, the sentence 'That is, when students get enough knowledge and diplom, there will be a plenty of jobs that will definitely apply them' is grammatically flawed and difficult to understand. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and practicing writing more complex sentences.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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