Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television?

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Nowadays, childs are more engaged in watching television programs in compared to the previous years. There are some positives and negatives for this development.

The first advantage of this development is, currently children learn new languages easily in small age. To simplify, nowadays, in television many different language cartoons and programs are forcasted, because of this it is easiest way to learn that particular language. For example, In Gujarat, the native language is Gujarati but, many cartoons are available to watch in Hindi language. Secondly, Children also start learning many skills while watching many shows. In simple words, reality shows, creative programs not only provide platform to learn, but also give opportunity to develop particular skill and participate in that show. To examplify, many children are learn dance while watching dancing shows, which give them a confidence and they are also ready to participate in any dance shows after that.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages. Primary one is children start avoiding socilizing. As they start enjoying watching television they are become introvert. To illustrate, in current days, child wants to remain in home as they have television to watch and spend time, they do not want to go in any social getherings. Secondly, there are rising cases of vision problems in small ages compared to the past time. This is because of more screentime they are spending while watching television. They are become more dependent on television to spend their time for refreshments. This is also a very serious issue as well.

In conclusion, learning new languages and develop new skills are the merits of this development. While, they are become more introvert and eye site issues are the main demerit points of this devepolment.

Word Count: 288

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

television: 6

watching: 5

children: 4

learn: 4

language: 4

while: 4

shows: 4

programs: 3

there: 3

start: 3

become: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of children watching television. A clear position is presented, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and precision, with some points being only partially explained. There are also issues with grammar and vocabulary that affect clarity. To improve, focus on developing each point with more specific examples and explanations, and ensure that the language is accurate and varied.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the flow is disrupted by frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which sometimes make the message difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used but often in a repetitive or simplistic manner (e.g., 'firstly', 'secondly', 'on the other hand'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to separate ideas within paragraphs. To improve, focus on creating smoother transitions between sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic with supporting details that logically connect.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are several inaccuracies and awkward choices (e.g., 'forcasted', 'socilizing', 'getherings', 'examplify', 'devepolment'). Some phrases are informal or not precise (e.g., 'childs', 'in compared to'). There is some attempt at using less common vocabulary (e.g., 'engaged', 'platform', 'introvert'), but the overall control is limited. To improve, expand vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'screen time', 'cognitive development', 'social interaction') and ensure word forms and collocations are used correctly. Practice using synonyms and more precise terms to enhance clarity and sophistication. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that significantly affect readability and accuracy. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children are become'), incorrect plural forms (e.g., 'childs'), missing articles, and incorrect verb tenses. Sentence structures are often repetitive and lack variety. Punctuation is sometimes misused, and there are run-on sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and verb tense consistency. Practice writing more complex sentences with subordinate clauses and ensure each sentence is grammatically complete. Regular proofreading and grammar exercises can help reduce these errors.

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Band 5+: Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television?

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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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