Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Countries spend a large amount of money hosting international sporting events.Do the advantages of hosting such events outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some argue that hosting an international even is beneficial for a country while others disagree. I totally agree with this opinion, and this essay will discuss about both sides

Firstly, we should discuss about what things can improve country’s reputation for example sports celebrities, actors, or scientist. Taking first place in global tournaments or transferring sportsman to high ranked clubs can improve nation’s global rank among the world. For example, Abdukadir Khusanov, who plays at Munchester City apl team. After joining apl team, many sport fans find out there is country called Uzbekistan because of Khusanov. Especially, country that hold any kind of sport event can increase amount of high ranked athletes because events can bring more advanced technologies and trainers.

Additionally, person who plays any kind of sport wears or represent their country’s flag, and they protect their country’s or nation’s brave. However, some people argue that hosting big sport events can lead to a lot of financial expenses and economic crisis, it can bring more and more tourist at that year to country, next years as well as . For example, Qatar, which was hold 2022 world cup championship, while they spent a lot of money on structure on buildings, roads, and infrastructure, they advertised their country’s history, culture, buildings, and entertainment zones, now there are more tourist than in the past.

In conclusion, hosting sport events can lead some financial problems, but it bring a lot of advantages for example advertising country’s culture and nation, which can lead to more tourist proportion.

Word Count: 255

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

country's: 5

sport: 5

country: 4

example: 4

hosting: 3

events: 3

bring: 3

their: 3

tourist: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of hosting international sporting events, and it presents a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas lacks clarity and precision. For example, the first paragraph introduces unrelated points about improving reputation through sports celebrities and scientists, which is not directly relevant to hosting events. The supporting examples are somewhat relevant but not fully explained or logically connected to the main argument. There are also grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. To improve, focus on directly addressing the prompt with a clear structure: present advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs, use specific and well-developed examples, and ensure each idea is clearly linked to the overall argument. Proofreading for grammar and word choice would also enhance the essay's quality.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear connections between ideas. For example, the transition from discussing reputation to financial aspects could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally inaccurate (e.g., 'Firstly' is used but not followed by a clear second point). Paragraphing is present but could be more skillfully managed to improve overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common words (e.g., 'reputation', 'infrastructure', 'proportion'). However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'international even' instead of 'event', 'protect their country's or nation's brave' instead of 'bravery' or 'honor'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is some repetition. To improve, focus on using more precise and natural vocabulary, and avoid direct translations from your native language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'it bring'), incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'discuss about both sides'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, practice using a wider range of grammatical structures accurately, and proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors.

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Band 5+: Countries spend a large amount of money hosting international sporting events.Do the advantages of hosting such events outweigh the disadvantages?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Countries spend a large amount of money hosting international sporting events.Do the advantages of hosting such events outweigh the disadvantages?

Countries spend a large amount of money hosting international sporting events.Do the advantages of hosting such events outweigh the disadvantages?

Countries spend a large amount of money hosting international sporting events.Do the advantages of hosting such events outweigh the disadvantages?

Countries spend a large amount of money hosting international sporting events.Do the advantages of hosting such events outweigh the disadvantages?

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