Positive And Negative

Band 5+: Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world. However, people are encouraged to use alternative energy sources such as wind energy, solar energy and so on. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Non-renewable energy resources have been used all over the world for a long periods of time, but nowadays, some people are confident to use renewable sources as a main source of energy. I think this is a positive development.

On the other hand, hydrocarbons are used globally to power developmental processes. Most people argue that oil has been used for a very long period of time, as its primarily used in vehicles and all the industries and developmental processes run on it around the world. Fossil fuels have been used since ancients and nowadays their resources also used for the extraction of oils.

On the other side, I believe that, renewable source of energy are encourage to used because of its cost-effectiveness and they are infinite, wind, solar and nuclear energy are the widely used around the world.Fossil fuels need more production facilities, proper storage conditions, these nonrenewable resources contain hazardous materials, these materials pollute the environment and eventually leads to health-related problems. However, green energy are environmentally friendly and could never end, wind and solar energy are now taking the future, electricity is produced from these sources and this electricity also becomes a secondary source of energy, these energy sources are environment friendly and cost-efficiency.Therefore, the use of wind and solar energy is positive development.

To sum up, although fossil fuels have been used for a long period of time and helpful to run the world economy, according to my point of view, the use of green energy outweighs the conventional type of energy source.

Word Count: 256

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

energy: 11

source: 4

these: 4

resources: 3

world: 3

sources: 3

fuels: 3

solar: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that the shift toward renewable energy is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph discusses the history and use of fossil fuels but does not clearly link this to why the shift away from them is positive or negative, making it feel slightly tangential to the core argument. The second body paragraph is much stronger as it directly compares the two energy types, but it suffers from several run-on sentences and grammatical inaccuracies that occasionally obscure the clarity of the ideas. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your central thesis. Instead of just stating that fossil fuels have been used for a long time, explain that their continued use poses environmental risks, which justifies the shift to alternatives. Additionally, work on sentence structure; avoid long strings of clauses connected only by commas (comma splices). Using more varied cohesive devices and ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and verb will improve the logical flow and precision of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is problematic. For example, 'On the other hand' is used to introduce the first body paragraph, which is logically incorrect as this phrase is typically used to present a contrasting view to a previously stated one. Additionally, there is significant 'comma splicing' (joining independent sentences with only a comma), which disrupts the flow and makes it difficult for the reader to follow the logical progression of ideas. To improve, focus on using appropriate transition signals (e.g., 'Firstly', 'In contrast', 'Furthermore') and ensure that each paragraph focuses on one clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but there is limited range and frequent errors in word choice and formation. For instance, 'since ancients' is incorrect (should be 'since ancient times'), and 'cost-efficiency' is used where the adjective 'cost-effective' is required. There is also some repetition of words like 'developmental processes' and 'used'. To improve, try to use a wider variety of synonyms (e.g., instead of 'used', use 'utilized', 'consumed', or 'relied upon') and pay closer attention to word forms (noun vs. adjective).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'renewable source of energy are encourage'), pluralization (e.g., 'for a periods of time'), and tense consistency. The most significant issue is the lack of sentence variety; many sentences are run-on sentences or comma splices. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures such as subordinate clauses (using 'because', 'although', 'which') and ensure that every independent clause is correctly separated by a full stop or a coordinating conjunction.

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