Positive And Negative

Band 7+: Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world. However, people are encouraged to use alternative energy sources such as wind energy, solar energy and so on. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, fossil fuels have become the principal source of energy. Nevertheless, the use of renewable energy sources is well acclaimed. I firmly agree that this is a vital tool for a country’s growth as fossil fuels can represent a potential threat to nature.

Migrating to alternative sources can help mitigate the hazards of fossil fuels. To begin with, renewable energy sources like wind energy, solar energy and hydropower are environmentally friendly, in contrast to non-renewable sources which are the major causative agents of pollution. From manufacturing industries to vehicles like cars and trucks, releasing toxic gases to the atmosphere, it is undeniable that these factors play a negative role by deteriorating the image of cities thereby causing citizens to migrate to local areas leading to reduced workforce. consequently, green energy sources are beneficial for an eco-friendly environment like cars using electricity rather than fuels, encouraging rural exodus.

Moreover, due to their convenience and flexibility, the utilization of alternative sources should be prioritized. This is because they occur naturally and can be extracted effortlessly. In addition, they are cost-effective and easily accessible. Therefore replacing non-renewable sources with clean ones is economical and as a result should be encouraged. This can also be explained by the fact that these sources are inexhaustible and can be regenerated for reuse. The extraction of sun rays by photovoltaic celles in solar pannels to generate electricity, the use of wind turbines to convert energy from winds and the conversion of water to electrical energy thanks to a hydroelectric power plant are direct examples of the applications of alternative sources to promote development.

Ultimately, I strongly believe that, despite fossil fuels are principal sources, navigating to clean sources is the key to a coutry’s evolution. In my point of view, institutions should raise awareness about the detrimental effects of non-renewable sources and the government should disburse funds in order to make campains and educate the population.

Word Count: 319

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sources: 12

energy: 8

fuels: 5

fossil: 4

should: 4

alternative: 3

non-renewable: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the prompt and presents a clear and developed position. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples. There are a few minor lapses in expression, but overall the writing is strong. To improve, ensure each paragraph maintains a sharp focus on a single, well-defined idea and that the connections between sentences are always explicit.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and maintains it throughout. Paragraphing is generally well-managed, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the connections between some sentences could be strengthened to improve the flow of ideas. For instance, in the second paragraph, the link between the environmental impact of fossil fuels and the resulting migration of citizens could be made more explicit. Similarly, in the third paragraph, while the points about convenience and cost-effectiveness are valid, elaborating on how these factors directly contribute to prioritizing alternative sources would enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using terms like 'mitigate,' 'causative agents,' 'deteriorating,' and 'inexhaustible' appropriately. However, there are instances where more precise word choices could elevate the writing. For example, instead of 'vital tool for a country's growth,' consider a more specific phrase like 'essential strategy for sustainable development.' Additionally, while the vocabulary is generally accurate, refining the phrasing to sound more natural and sophisticated would be beneficial. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. There are a few minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('fossil fuels are principal sources') and awkward phrasing ('make campains'). Addressing these errors through careful proofreading would improve the essay's overall grammatical accuracy. Furthermore, while the range of structures is commendable, ensuring consistent accuracy throughout the essay is crucial for achieving a higher score.

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