Cause And Solution

Band 6+: Fresh water is a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today , increasing demand has made it a global problem. What are the causes of this growing demand? What can governments and individuals do to respond to the problem?

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The demand for fresh water is becoming significantly scarce in the world. Many countries are facing a severe water shortage due to their reckless waste treatment of factories and industries. While the main reasons are the direct impact of this issue, people still do not realize it in daily life.

There are numerous reasons for this issue to explain why fresh water is becoming scarcity and affects our life. Firstly, the primary reason comes from waste from factories. Many nations are only focused on the economy but they forget that the environment has an impact on the waste from factories being discharged into the environment. This absolutely influences the underground water vein and it will make the water pollution because industrial waste is dumped into the ecosystem. Secondly, the industries similarly with factories there are many plastics and packaging wastes are disposed of naturally. These two reasons are the main point of clean water sources becoming increasingly scarce, when water has been polluted the quality of water has decreased. It affects the standard of life, increases digestive system disorders, and limits the water volume people can use in daily life.

Some effective solutions for this case are that the government needs to strictly manage the waste treatment process from factories and industries in every nation. Furthermore, education has to teach and develop a habit of saving water for children. For example, taking a shower in 45 minutes could limit the time they are taking a bath to 15 – 30 minutes depending on their demand. The less water volume used, the less wastewater generated, this contributes to saving fresh water and protecting the environment easiest. Therefore the government needs to invest in waste treatment processes such as facilities, money to deploy this process more seriously.

In conclusion, the way fresh water is becoming scarcity has its reasons for wanting to prevent this issue. These measures need resources and financial sponsorship from the government to deploy this. Also the education needs to be more serious about teaching and leading the children to have a mindset of saving clean water from the start.

Word Count: 351

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 14

waste: 6

factories: 5

fresh: 4

becoming: 4

reasons: 4

treatment: 3

industries: 3

issue: 3

environment: 3

government: 3

needs: 3

saving: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing causes and solutions for the fresh water shortage. A clear position is presented, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas lacks precision and clarity in places. For example, the explanation of causes could be more specific and logically connected, and the solutions could be more fully elaborated. To improve, focus on providing clearer, more detailed support for each point, and ensure that the link between causes and solutions is explicitly stated. Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance overall clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the transition from causes to solutions could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally repetitive. To improve, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect sentences and paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some relevant vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'water shortage', 'industrial waste', and 'waste treatment'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and repetition (e.g., 'scarcity' used as an adjective instead of 'scarce'). The range of vocabulary is adequate but not wide, and there is a lack of sophisticated or less common lexical items. To improve, try to incorporate more precise and varied vocabulary, and pay attention to correct word forms and collocations. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Examples include 'water is becoming scarcity' (should be 'becoming scarce'), 'the industries similarly with factories' (unclear), and 'the less water volume used, the less wastewater generated' (missing verb). Punctuation is generally correct but could be improved. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and ensuring that complex sentences are grammatically complete and clear.

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Band 6+: Fresh water is a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today , increasing demand has made it a global problem. What are the causes of this growing demand? What can governments and individuals do to respond to the problem?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Fresh water is a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today , increasing demand has made it a global problem. What are the causes of this growing demand? What can governments and individuals do to respond to the problem?

Fresh water is a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today , increasing demand has made it a global problem. What are the causes of this growing demand? What can governments and individuals do to respond to the problem?

Fresh water is a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today , increasing demand has made it a global problem. What are the causes of this growing demand? What can governments and individuals do to respond to the problem?

Fresh water is a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today , increasing demand has made it a global problem. What are the causes of this growing demand? What can governments and individuals do to respond to the problem?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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