Cause And Solution

Band 4+: Fresh water is a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today , increasing demand has made it a global problem. What are the causes of this growing demand? What can governments and individuals do to respond to the problem?

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Since time immemorial,drinking water became a scarce natural resurce in certain parts of the world.However,population explosion has affect of this.

This essey will discuss the main couses of the increased demand and solution of what measure governments and individuals to do.

Some factors contrebiting to this problem are population explosion, urbanisation, industrialisations.In moderen life almost every country have nuilding and fabric which damage the water by emition carbons and toxic things it has growing use of water. However, in certain parts of the world live many citizen which needed fresh water, but due to over population and overconsubtion there not reserves of fresh water.For example, India has around 18 percet of world population but have only 4 percent of water resoures. As the result around 600 milion of people face water stress.

Strict national legislation for preventing natural salt free water reserves pollution, government also should enact infrastructure for purification of seawater into fresh water will help in meeting the growing requitement of saline free water.For insance, national authorites may creat the device which colect rain water and provide it to people for free. And invest in herification of seawater.Individuals has coumpouded this demand with contamination so they should protect water resurses.

Consequences,government should add new strong low for people or fabric which damage the water.Moreover,creat motodics to extract water.Provide every citizen with fresh water.Espesialy population shuold be worryed to water and economise water and appreshate.The more listen to the low ,the less damage water recouces.Improve water by doing clean in sea

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 14

population: 4

which: 4

fresh: 4

damage: 3

people: 3

should: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing causes of increased demand (population explosion, urbanization, industrialization) and suggesting measures for governments and individuals. However, the response is incomplete and lacks clarity and development. The position is present but not clearly articulated, and the main ideas are limited and not sufficiently supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. There are numerous spelling and grammatical errors that impede understanding. To improve, focus on developing each idea with clear explanations and examples, organize the essay with clear paragraphs, and proofread for accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by unclear references and abrupt transitions. The introduction presents the topic and outlines the essay, but the phrasing is awkward. The body paragraphs attempt to discuss causes and solutions, but the ideas are not logically sequenced, and the connection between sentences is often missing. The conclusion is weak and does not effectively summarize the main points. To improve, use clear topic sentences, link ideas with cohesive devices (e.g., 'firstly', 'moreover', 'as a result'), and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Also, avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'resurce', 'essey', 'couses', 'contrebiting', 'moderen', 'nuilding', 'fabric', 'emition', 'overconsubtion', 'resoures', 'milion', 'requitement', 'herification', 'coumpouded', 'resurses', 'low', 'motodics', 'Espesialy', 'worryed', 'appreshate', 'recouces') and some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'affect of this', 'fabric' instead of 'factories', 'citizen' instead of 'people', 'low' instead of 'law'). There is some attempt to use less common vocabulary (e.g., 'scarce', 'urbanisation', 'industrialisations', 'legislation', 'infrastructure', 'purification'), but it is not always accurate. To improve, expand your vocabulary, practice spelling, and use words in the correct context. For example, use 'resources' instead of 'resurce', 'causes' instead of 'couses', and 'legislation' correctly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that significantly affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'every country have', 'there not reserves'), verb tense (e.g., 'became' instead of 'has become'), articles (e.g., 'a scarce natural resource', 'the increased demand'), prepositions (e.g., 'affect of this', 'contrebiting to'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'Strict national legislation for preventing natural salt free water reserves pollution, government also should enact infrastructure...' is a fragment). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and periods. To improve, focus on basic grammar rules, practice writing clear and complete sentences, and proofread your work. Use a variety of sentence structures, but ensure they are grammatically correct.

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