Opinion

Band 4+: Government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens' health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

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Topic was extremely contentious , governments should spend more money on healthcare sector to protect drewller’s well-being rather than on preserving ecosytem environment . This essay will discuss about the view . In my opinion , i agree with governments , but I do not agree with rather than .

To begin , the government is crucial role about policy so they spend more money on heath service is essential . Firstly , investment about medical will avoid dangerous disease . This is because , individuals can raise awareness of protect health. For example , government will promote and incentive vaccination with all people in country which limit the rate of disease. Secondly, science will scientific research about disease . To clarify, they play a role of explore and respond to future medical threats. For instance, during Covid-19 global pademic , science was research vaccine and production which helps people have antibodies and prevent the spread.

Next, if government focuses on only medical research, they will ignore some important areas, which relate to citizens ‘ health. This is because medical research requires a large budget but it’s not successful and bad environment “overloads” the health system .Threfore , investment about environmental proctection will bring long-term goals leading to effect positive.

In conclusion, government was investment about health care are important . However , they should not spend more money rather than ecosytem preservation . I believe , goverment should balance both medical heath and environmental protection.

Word Count: 246

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 6

medical: 5

government: 4

health: 4

research: 4

should: 3

spend: 3

money: 3

rather: 3

investment: 3

disease: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the reasoning behind your arguments. Also, ensure a clearer connection between environmental protection and citizens' health. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the progression of ideas is often unclear and disjointed. The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, and the body paragraphs suffer from a lack of logical flow. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, hindering the overall coherence. Paragraphing needs improvement to better group related ideas. To improve, focus on creating a clear thesis statement, using topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and employing transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. There is a lack of precision in expressing ideas, and the language used is often simplistic. To enhance lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary, learning synonyms and related terms, and practicing using new words in context. Pay attention to the nuances of word meanings and choose words that accurately convey your intended message. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. These errors significantly impede clarity and understanding. The range of grammatical structures used is limited. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, practicing sentence construction, and proofreading carefully for errors. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct mistakes, but always double-check the suggestions to ensure they are accurate.

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