Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 7+: In many countries, people are relying more on the internet for information, shopping, and communication instead of face-to-face interactions. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent decades there has been a growing trend towards online communication. While some individuals advocate for discussing everything via their gadgets, others contend that real life conversations are necessary to stay connected with others. This essay will discuss both perspectives; however, I believe that real life is much more important than online communication.

Today social media has become an indispensable part of our daily routine. Online chatting provides us with an opportunity to share the latest news and information almost instantly. For example, every day people receive fresh updates about their studies or work without spending much time on it. Moreover, individuals whose conditions don’t let them meet people due to tight schedules or health issues are able to interact with people by using their smartphones.

Despite these advantages, disadvantages of this trend could have serious consequences. In other words, humanity slowly moves from real life meetings to online chatting and less outdoor communicating. A major drawback of this growth is the risk of losing empathy and socialisation skills. Furthermore, face to face communication is not only about meeting each other, but also seeing emotions and true feelings of your partner.

In my opinion, real life contact is undoubtedly one of the most valuable experiences of human existence, as socialising with others supports our mental health.

Overall, online contact via messengers is convenient, especially for individuals with limited time. However, it should only complement real life contact, rather than replace it. Humanity should be concerned with maintaining the balance of both, without allowing online communication to replace face to face contact.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 6

contact: 4

communication: 3

individuals: 3

their: 3

others: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the trend, and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, though some points could be more fully developed. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea and expands on it with more specific examples or reasoning. Additionally, refine the language for precision and avoid minor grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, though some transitions could be smoother. For instance, the phrase 'In other words' in the third paragraph could be replaced with a more precise connector like 'Consequently' or 'As a result' to better link the cause and effect. Additionally, the final paragraph could be more clearly signaled as a conclusion with a phrase like 'In conclusion' to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some sophisticated choices (e.g., 'indispensable', 'advocate', 'contend'). However, there are a few instances of less precise phrasing, such as 'discussing everything via their gadgets' and 'less outdoor communicating'. These could be refined to more natural expressions like 'conducting all communication through devices' and 'reduced face-to-face interaction'. Overall, the vocabulary is appropriate and mostly accurate, but there is room for more natural and varied lexical choices.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and demonstrates good control of grammar. There are a few minor errors, such as 'humanity slowly moves' (should be 'humanity is slowly moving') and 'face to face communication is not only about meeting each other, but also seeing emotions' (parallelism issue: 'seeing' should be 'about seeing'). These are minor and do not impede understanding. Overall, the grammar is accurate enough to convey the message clearly, but a few corrections would improve the overall accuracy.

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