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Band 5+: In many countries, people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is.

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upon retirement most of the people plan to live a peaceful life, for which they choose a community filled with tranquility to live the rest of their lives. The destination selection may vary from individual to individual, either to live abroad or different side of the country. This essay discusses the reasons below.

Firstly, many individuals relocate to well-established cities in search of higher education or employment opportunities. After years of striving in establishing themselves they long for a serene lifestyle in their later years. For example, Asians migrate to the west for a well settled career. some of them move back to their countries to live a life of their choice with the money they have earned.

Secondly, few people want to get away from the busy lifestyle they used to have before their retirement they may select much calmer cities. For example, New York City is always bombarded with people throughout the day in anytime of the year, so some people choose to go away from this city lifestyle.

I believe, it is very common for people to relocate after their retirements. And cost of living also plays a vital role in destination selection. According to a report, Some Japanese retirees choose Malaysia as their migration spot after retirement. So Retirees, whoever can afford to relocate may choose to live in abroad with their settled families and others may choose areas with friendly and better cost of living.

Word Count: 240

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 8

people: 5

choose: 5

retirement: 3

relocate: 3

after: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why people tend to move overseas or to a different part of their country after retirement. The reasons provided are relevant, but the discussion lacks depth and development. The examples used could be more specific and detailed to support the points made. To improve, consider expanding on each reason with more detailed explanations and examples. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally coherent and easy to follow. However, there are some issues with cohesion and paragraphing. The transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, consider organizing the essay into more structured paragraphs to improve clarity and coherence.

Lexical Resource

There is a good range of vocabulary used throughout the essay. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that affect the overall lexical resource score. Work on using vocabulary more precisely and accurately to convey ideas effectively. Additionally, aim to incorporate more sophisticated and natural language to enhance lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure and verb tense consistency. Punctuation and grammar need to be more accurate to improve the overall grammatical range and accuracy score. Proofreading for these errors and practicing more complex sentence structures can help enhance grammatical accuracy.

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