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Band 6+: In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is this? What measures could be taken to reduce this problem?

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Nowadays, the big cities in many nations have become very large and overcrowded. This essay will answer the causes of this problem and the solutions to cut down on this problem.

First, major cities are being too big and overcrowded because of several causes. One of the biggest reasons is the living conditions. People who live in urban areas will have higher living standards than the others who live in urban areas. They also have better facilities and being more convenient to access some essential services. For instance, people who live in cities will be able to get a greater job with higher income and be easier to visit the doctors when they get sick than the others who live in the countrysides. Additionally, the cities need more space for their dwellers and facilities, so they have become very big. A small city will not allow both residential areas, industrial areas and some modern facilities at the same place.

The problem is serious, so it is necessary to have some reality solutions to deal with it. One of the most effective solutions is to urbanize some rural areas. When these areas become more modern with higher living conditions, less people will migrate to the big cities, which can help to cut down on the pressure of overpopulation in these cities. For example, big businesses would be encouraged to set up their companies in the countrysides, which can help to improve more career opportunities for people in these areas. Ultimately, some facilities can be moved from big cities to smaller ones or some rural areas to reduce the problem of overcrowding in major cities. Instantly, the government can move some big universities from big cities to the other areas to reduce the number of college students in these cities.

In conclusion, major cities in some countries are very big and overcrowded because of the development of the cities and the migration of people from rural areas for better living conditions. While the problem is really serious, it can be dealt with by urbanizing some rural areas or moving some facilities from major cities to other areas.

Word Count: 355

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

cities: 12

areas: 12

people: 5

facilities: 5

problem: 4

major: 4

living: 4

rural: 4

these: 4

become: 3

overcrowded: 3

solutions: 3

conditions: 3

higher: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt (causes and solutions) and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, though some points could be more precisely developed. For instance, the first cause is somewhat vague and contains a minor error ('higher living standards than the others who live in urban areas' should be 'rural areas'). The solutions are practical and well-illustrated. To improve, ensure each cause is clearly explained and avoid minor inaccuracies. Additionally, consider linking ideas more explicitly to the prompt's focus on 'too big' and 'overcrowded'.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'the others who live in urban areas' is confusing and should be 'those in rural areas.' Additionally, the link between the causes and the solutions could be smoother. To improve, use more cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions. For instance, 'reality solutions' should be 'practical solutions,' and 'cut down on this problem' is informal. The phrase 'being more convenient to access' is awkward. To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, and avoid repetition of words like 'big' and 'cities.' Also, ensure word choices are appropriate for a formal academic essay. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, 'major cities are being too big' should be 'major cities have become too big,' and 'being more convenient to access' is incorrect. The phrase 'Instantly, the government can move' should be 'For instance, the government could move.' To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and ensure verb tenses are consistent. Also, avoid using informal or incorrect phrases.

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Band 6+: In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is this? What measures could be taken to reduce this problem?

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Task Response

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In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is this? What measures could be taken to reduce this problem?

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In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is this? What measures could be taken to reduce this problem?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

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Coherence & Cohesion

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