Opinion

Band 5+: Many animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say only animals that are useful to humans should be protected. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many species of wildlife are endangered. It is argued by some people that we should protect animals, which are beneficial for mankind. I strongly disagree with this statement and believe that every species of the planet plays significant role in maintaining ecological balance. Therefore, we should save all creatures of the earth.

There are a number of compelling reasons why I believe that we should protect all kinds of animals, whether they are useful to humans or not. First and foremost, Every species of wildlife is crucial for maintaining the ecological health of the planet. They perform diverse and unique role directly and indirectly for making human life more smooth and comfortable. To illustrate, earthworm has not direct impact on mankind, but they perform a significant role to fertile soil, which is beneficial to cultivate good crops throughout the year. As a result, Humans can meet the demand of food and take sufficient nutrients, vitamins and minerals through eating them. Moreover, In medical background, animals are useful to produce drugs for all kinds of diseases. For example, snakes are important to produce drugs but they do not have any direct beneficial aspects on human life. In general sense, we always support to kill snakes when we see them inside or outside of our homes. The main reason behind that snakes have not any visible impact on human lives.

Furthermore, scientists experiment with animals for evaluating effectiveness and possible risks of drugs and then they apply it to human body. If scientists experiment with human body, it may create a devastating situation where many people died to find useful drugs for many terminal illnesses. For example, when scientists explored the drugs of Corona Virus, first they applied it to animals body and they supplied useful medicine to the market. Now, after two years fights with this virus, people get rid of.

In conclusion, all animals have direct and indirect impact on human lives. So, we should protect all endangered animals, whether they are useful or not for us.

Word Count: 337

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

animals: 7

human: 6

useful: 5

drugs: 5

should: 4

species: 3

people: 3

protect: 3

beneficial: 3

direct: 3

impact: 3

snakes: 3

scientists: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of disagreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as earthworms and snakes. However, there are some lapses in focus and precision. For instance, the example about snakes is not fully developed, and the paragraph on medical research could be more clearly linked to the argument. To improve, ensure each example directly supports the point that all animals should be protected, and refine the expression for clarity and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'In general sense, we always support to kill snakes when we see them inside or outside of our homes' is not clearly connected to the preceding sentence. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes repetitive. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with smooth transitions between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, including some topic-specific terms like 'ecological balance' and 'terminal illnesses'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'perform a significant role to fertile soil' and 'support to kill snakes'. The essay would benefit from more precise and natural vocabulary, as well as avoiding repetition. For example, instead of 'animals are useful to produce drugs', consider 'animals are used in the production of medicines'. Expanding the range of expressions and using collocations accurately will enhance the lexical resource. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. Examples include 'Every species of wildlife is crucial' (subject-verb agreement), 'they perform a significant role to fertile soil' (incorrect preposition and verb form), and 'people get rid of' (incomplete phrase). There are also issues with article usage and sentence fragments. To improve, focus on sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles. Additionally, ensure that each sentence is complete and conveys a clear idea. Practicing a variety of complex structures, such as conditional sentences and relative clauses, will help improve grammatical range and accuracy.

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