Positive And Negative

Band 5+: Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In contemporary society fashion influencers, celebrities, and fashion trends have a huge influence on individuals’ opinion. Attires are becoming more similar and typical. In my opinion, it’s a negative trend that transform people identical, without personal style.

At the forefront of this phenomenon lies prevalence and access of social media. Global fashion trends emerged at the end of 1950’s when social media such as radio, television, and magazines becomes widely accessible to consumers. To illustrate this Marilyn Manroe who could became queen of fashion during the period under consideration. A lot of women wants be resembling Marilyn. During this time, following the global fashion trends gained popularity. In addition, in this period haute couture houses such as Chanel, Gucci, and Armani had developed into a major global phenomenon. Thus, namely this time interval forms global fashion trends in the form we recognize today.

Regarding the implications of this trend, I am inclined to believe that this tendency has perdominantly negative impact to our society. Fashionable clothings by and large a luxury attire which unaffordable for average individuals. As a result, there is a high probability that people would be waste their wages to unnecessary items. To demonstrate this, from a personal standpoint, I have observed that a segment of my friends spend a significant part of their avenue to trendy clothes. In addition, fashion trends fastly evolve on account of costumers struggle to conform to new trends. Ultimately, fashion trends simply business for influencers which invent it for the sake of money.

In conclusion, I would like remark that global fashion industry it is not inherently detrimental but, due to the obsession of people about be like their icons it determine society.

Word Count: 282

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

fashion: 9

trends: 7

global: 5

society: 3

people: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity in places. For example, the connection between social media and fashion trends in the 1950s needs further clarification. The second body paragraph provides a personal example, but it could be more effectively linked to the broader argument about the negative impact of fashion trends. To improve, focus on providing clearer explanations and stronger connections between your ideas and examples.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be used more effectively to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the connection between the rise of social media and Marilyn Monroe's influence could be more explicitly explained. To improve coherence, focus on using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and transitional phrases to link ideas logically.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice ('avenue' instead of 'income,' 'perdominantly' instead of 'predominantly'). There are also some awkward phrasings that affect clarity. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to fashion and societal trends. Pay attention to using words accurately and in the correct context. Consider using a thesaurus to find synonyms, but always ensure that the new words fit the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and problems with article usage. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. For example, the sentence 'Fashionable clothings by and large a luxury attire which unaffordable for average individuals' contains multiple errors. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles. Proofread carefully for errors.

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