Positive And Negative

Band 4+: Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many individual believes that dressing of huge amount of individuals inspired by global fashion trends because of most of the people now a days follow big super stars and actors and now a days these super stars are trend maker and people feel proud to follow these actors.As per my opinion its a negative development and i strongly oppose it.

Firslty,just because to follow global fashion trends huge amount of people spend their money on clothing and other luxury items rather than spending on their actual needs.Eventually,most of the people lend money from other and got depressed due to huge amount of loans.

Secondly,if a person copy others social media stars style and trends so he/she got depressed due to comparison and it will make a person mental ill.

I also witness a case in which one children regularly follow a dressing style of their favourite social media sensation and when their class mates see this they start bullying a children and due to a pressure of their fellowes he commit sucide in front of his whole school.

Overall, i am strongly against any individual who follow any global fashion trend. specially those trend who made by any super star because when someone impress by other people style he can’t able to do any thing on their own along with that mental illness,depression because of comparison is a another factor which makes a negative impact on every individual.

Word Count: 238

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 6

people: 5

follow: 5

because: 4

individual: 3

amount: 3

global: 3

fashion: 3

trends: 3

super: 3

stars: 3

trend: 3

other: 3

style: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing the influence of global fashion trends and presenting a position. However, the development of ideas is not always clear, and some points are not sufficiently developed. The examples provided lack depth and may not be entirely relevant. To improve, focus on providing more specific and detailed explanations for your arguments. Ensure that your examples are clearly linked to the points you are making and that they are relevant to the topic. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is not effective. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences, transitions between ideas, and a more structured approach to presenting arguments. The example provided is not clearly linked to the argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and often inaccurate. There are instances of incorrect word choice and imprecise language. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise and varied language. Pay attention to collocations and the appropriate use of words in context. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review and correct errors in your writing to enhance clarity and accuracy.

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