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Band 4+: many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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It is true that criminals who leave prison start breaking the low again. This essay will examine the main cause of more crimes and possible solutions to this problem, that can be done to prevent it from happening.

The two main causes of repeat offending are mental problem in prison and difficult employment after serving time. Firstly, when people who are imprisoned for a long time begin to develop psychologist and mental problems. For instance, it can be connected with communication with other prisoners, who continue to be associated to criminal world. Secondly, after the punishment ex-prisoners begin to face the problem of finding job for themselves. Employers are often avoid hiring offenders due to their background. As a result, people are starting look for ways to male money illegal.

Some possible solutions to this problem are rehabilitation and education. Government should allow more attention to rehabilitation for people rather than punishment. Instead of prisoners being locked up with other inmates , it would be better if they spent time with specialist who would help them improve their behavior and mental health.Criminals who have returned to illegal activities as no alternatives to earn money need to learn in prison basic working and lifestyle knowledge and skills to have a change in future for their best life. For example, based on the interest of the prisoner, they can develop opportunities for future legal earning, during their imprisonment.

To sum up, after analysis of this problem and recommended different solutions such as training prisoners and helping them find skills for future work. All this measurement will help to decrease the number crimes in future.

Word Count: 272

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

problem: 5

their: 4

future: 4

prison: 3

solutions: 3

mental: 3

after: 3

people: 3

prisoners: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main causes of repeat offending and suggests possible solutions, but the arguments lack depth and development. The ideas presented are somewhat relevant but need further elaboration and support. Additionally, there are some lapses in content and support that hinder a more thorough exploration of the topic. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the consequences of repeat offending and the benefits of the proposed solutions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion as the ideas are not well-connected and the progression of thoughts is somewhat disjointed. There is a need for better organization and smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, the paragraphing could be improved to create clearer divisions between different points. To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and use linking words to connect them logically.

Lexical Resource

While the essay demonstrates an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, there are inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that affect the overall lexical resource. Some words are used incorrectly, and there is a lack of precision in expression. To improve, focus on using vocabulary accurately and appropriately, and aim for more natural and sophisticated language. Additionally, expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and idiomatic expressions to enhance lexical variety.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There is an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors throughout the essay. Issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence construction affect the overall grammatical range and accuracy. To enhance your writing, pay closer attention to grammar rules, particularly in complex sentences, and practice using different sentence structures to improve fluency and accuracy.

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Band 4+: many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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A country's divorce rate is often used as evidence that its people are becoming less satisfied with their lives and relationships. However, a rise in divorce may simply reflect greater personal freedom and changing attitudes towards marriage. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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