Discussion

Band 5+: Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A lot of people feel unsafe when they go outside due to fear of criminal activity. While some believe that more steps are necessary to stop crime, others argue that little can be done. However, I believe the government should take measures to fight crime and make life safer.

On the one hand, many people think the main reason for crime is that people are poor. When people do not have money for food or clothes, they are forced to steal. However, the police can not solve the crime problem until the government solves the problem of poverty. For example, if a person does not have a job, he might steal food from a shop, and prison will not solve his money problem. So, many people believe that the police can not stop crime.

On the other hand, I believe that strict laws and the police can stop criminals. For example, when there are many cameras on the streets and police officers, people are afraid to break the law. So, the government can make cities safe, if it uses these methods.

In the end, although crime is a huge problem, I believe that the government must fight it to protect people.

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

believe: 5

crime: 5

government: 4

police: 4

problem: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and presenting a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks depth. The first view is explained with a focus on poverty, but the connection to the fear of crime and the effectiveness of prevention is not fully explored. The second view is presented with a brief example, but it is not sufficiently extended. To improve, provide more detailed explanations and examples for each viewpoint, and ensure that the discussion directly relates to the fear of crime and the potential for prevention. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points and reinforcing your opinion. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the development of ideas is limited, and the connection between paragraphs could be smoother. The first body paragraph discusses the view that little can be done, but the reasoning is not fully extended. The second body paragraph presents your opinion but lacks depth. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting details.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common words (e.g., 'criminal activity', 'forced to steal', 'strict laws'). However, the range is limited, and there is some repetition (e.g., 'crime', 'police', 'government'). To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, such as 'deterrent', 'rehabilitation', 'socio-economic factors', and 'law enforcement'. Also, avoid informal phrases like 'a lot of' in academic writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences (e.g., 'When people do not have money for food or clothes, they are forced to steal.'). There are no significant grammar errors, and punctuation is used correctly. To achieve a higher score, incorporate more varied structures, such as conditional sentences, passive voice, and more sophisticated linking phrases. Also, ensure that each sentence is fully developed to express ideas more precisely.

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Band 5+: Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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