Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Today social media enable people keep in touch with each other , sharing and learn about the news . Social networks have become crucial and helpful for people there are huge advantages that outweigh disadvantages .

Nowadays very important not

lose in touch with loved ones and internet helps with this solution. People may located in different sides of the world , without meeting with dear people , only internet calls and massages could prevent boredom and missing , lots of children flies to another counties for studying and by internet they can talk and learn about the news that happening in their hometowns . That is one of major advantages of this phenomenon.

However , there are several drawbacks and one of them is harming for mental health , using internet a lot could bring depression and malice . Internet exploiting from childhood even for being in touch with relatives and be aware of the news might harm brain system , because there may be some bad news that not everyone is ready . For example if in abandoned children’s hometown where leaving his parents started a war or something like that, it will make upset everyone .

In conclusion, people might face with number of troubles , but it also good tool for everyone . I think advantages of this phenomenon outweigh at times disadvantages.

Word Count: 227

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

internet: 5

touch: 3

there: 3

advantages: 3

everyone: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential advantages and disadvantages of social media. Also, ensure a clearer and more consistent line of reasoning throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas is not always smooth. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and sufficient development. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, use clear topic sentences, and employ transitional phrases to connect ideas logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and somewhat repetitive. There is a lack of precision in word choice, and the range of vocabulary is limited. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider variety of vocabulary, including synonyms and more specific terms. Focus on using vocabulary accurately and appropriately to convey your ideas effectively. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing and proofreading to identify and correct errors. Consider using a grammar checker to help identify areas for improvement.

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