Opinion

Band 5+: Many People believe that current system of both teachers and students in the class room will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this statement

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Some people agree that the traditional curriculum system of teachers and students in a calssroom will be changed by 2050.In this essay i will introduce both views and give my own opinion.

On the one hand, it would be beneficial for both students and teacher, if their studying place would be changed to online system.They can spend their free time for crucial things such as doing sports, providing time with family, or just for hobbies.For example, in 2017 was an online educational system in Kazakhstan, because these years was an epidemic of COVID-2017.Many individuals worried about their health and life, and they understood that changing educational system to online had a numereous pros for their social life.

On the other hand, it would be lead to more serious consequence.For instance, sometimes students do not fully understand a program or complex topics, and they are embarrassed or too lazy to ask again.And it can be lead to lower academic performance or decreasing a discipline on usually day.Futhermore, a few employeers could lose their job such as cookers, cleaners and security.Because, in distance studying schools and universities will close and do not need them.For example, in 2017 a lot of workers had lost their job and many of them complained to the government.

In conclusion, it can be seen that the drawbacks consistently overweight the benefits.Many people agree that they could change their classroom in 2050, but it have got a lot of drawbacks.In my opinion, it is beneficial for students and teachers but not for other employeers.

Word Count: 256

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 7

students: 4

system: 3

would: 3

online: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples provided are not always clearly linked to the points being made, and there is some repetition. To improve, focus on developing each idea more fully with specific examples and explanations. Ensure that the connection between your examples and your arguments is clear and logical. Also, consider the impact on teachers, not only on other employees.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the ideas are not always logically connected. Paragraphing is present, but the flow between paragraphs could be improved. Transitions between ideas are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader. The introduction and conclusion are present but somewhat repetitive and lack depth.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. The vocabulary used is generally simple and lacks sophistication. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and the appropriate use of words in context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and subject-verb agreement. These errors impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 5+: Many People believe that current system of both teachers and students in the class room will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this statement

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Task Response

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Many People believe that current system of both teachers and students in the class room will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this statement

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Many People believe that current system of both teachers and students in the class room will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Many People believe that current system of both teachers and students in the class room will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this statement

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