Opinion

Band 6+: Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life, however, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this and how these problems can be solved?

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Nowadays, the majority of people find it challenging to maintain work-life balance. This essay will discuss how changing economic conditions and labor market influence this trend, as well as how governments sponsored campaigns and changing management cultures within companies could tackle this rising issue.

The primary reason why individuals struggle to balance their jobs with their personal lives is rapidly changing global economic conditions. When prices of goods and services rise, affording them becomes increasingly difficult. As a result, people are required to work extensive hours in order to maintain their daily lives. Moreover, the demanding nature of labor markets is yet another contributing factor to this issue. In contemporary society, some companies require their employees to work overtime or perform duties beyond their abilites. Consequently, in order to stay employed, employees have no other choice than to comply with employers orders, leaving them with a little to no time for other parts of their lives. For instance, recent survey had reveled that due to strict labor market and economic conditions in China, employees work over 10 hours in day.

The primary solution is governments sponsored campaigns concerning working hours of employees. Nations could introduce regulations that do not allow companies to overwork employees and regulary check the working conditions of businesses. Consequently, this could prevent businesses imposing strict conditions on workers. Additionaly, companies could reconsider existing management culture and morals within working environment. Creating friendly and accepting atmosphere and not overworking staff members are just the basic practices that businesses could implement. As a result, workers are able to maintain their work in an environment that allows them to have time for themselves. The best representation of these practices has been seen in the Google, which is known for treating its members with respect and offering great working environment.

In conclusion, the majority of people argue that it is utterly challenging to balance their professional and personal lives. This is mainly caused by economic conditions and highly demanding nature of labor market; however governments compaign and businesses could resolve this issue.

Word Count: 342

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 8

conditions: 6

could: 6

employees: 5

economic: 4

labor: 4

companies: 4

lives: 4

working: 4

businesses: 4

people: 3

maintain: 3

balance: 3

changing: 3

governments: 3

hours: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt (reasons and solutions) and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, though some points could be more fully developed. There are minor lapses in precision (e.g., 'governments sponsored campaigns' could be more specific) and some language errors, but these do not significantly detract from the overall response. To improve, ensure that each idea is fully extended and that the language is more precise and varied.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are logically organized, and the use of linking words (e.g., 'The primary reason', 'Moreover', 'Consequently', 'The primary solution', 'As a result') helps guide the reader. However, there are some lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt shift from discussing reasons to solutions without a clear transition. Additionally, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for better clarity. The paragraphing is generally well-managed, but the conclusion could be more concise and directly restate the main points.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, such as 'work-life balance', 'economic conditions', 'labor market', 'overwork', and 'management culture'. There are attempts at more sophisticated phrases like 'rapidly changing global economic conditions' and 'demanding nature of labor markets'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'governments sponsored campaigns' (should be 'government-sponsored campaigns'), 'reveled' (should be 'revealed'), and 'morals' (should be 'morale'). The word 'abilites' is misspelled. The vocabulary is not always used with full precision, but the overall range is adequate for the task. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and some subordinate clauses. However, there are several errors that affect accuracy and clarity. For example, 'recent survey had reveled' should be 'a recent survey revealed', 'employees work over 10 hours in day' should be 'employees work over 10 hours a day', and 'governments compaign' should be 'government campaigns'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. The punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons. Overall, the grammar is not consistently accurate, but the errors do not severely impede understanding.

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Lexical Resource

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