Opinion

Band 6+: Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information in many countries. This is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether technology is dangerous to our society is a subject of debate. Although technology may allow unsupervised access to information, I believe that modern technology is not a threat to society because it provides society with connectivity.

One benefit of technology is connectivity. Digital networks provide global communication between people, industries, and governments. Therefore, the connectivity allows people from different locations to exchange information instantly. For example, a person can discuss business through digital networks without having to relocate. As a result, technology can connect people from different places without having to change locations.

On the other hand, technology may be dangerous when it is unsupervised because it is vulnerable to criminals. When technology is accessible it allows criminals to find sensitive and private information. Therefore, criminals can use the information to harm others. For example, a criminal can search a victim’s location and share it to others without the victim’s knowledge. As a result, technology can be a tool for criminals to share a victim’s location without consent.

In conclusion, although unsupervised technology may be a dangerous tool, I believe that modern technology is beneficial to our society because it provides connectivity for people around the world.

Word Count: 198

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

technology: 10

society: 4

information: 4

people: 4

without: 4

criminals: 4

dangerous: 3

unsupervised: 3

because: 3

connectivity: 3

victim's: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that modern technology is not a threat to society, primarily due to its connectivity benefits. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, though the discussion of the opposing view is somewhat limited and could be further developed. The response is well-organized and coherent, but the exploration of the dangers of uncontrolled access to information could be more nuanced. To improve, consider expanding on the potential risks and providing a more balanced analysis before reaffirming your position. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Therefore', 'For example', and 'As a result' are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. Paragraphing is skillfully managed, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point. To achieve a higher band, consider varying the cohesive devices further and ensuring that the conclusion does not simply repeat the introduction but synthesizes the arguments more deeply.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and accurate, with terms like 'connectivity', 'digital networks', 'unsupervised', and 'sensitive information'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive; for instance, 'connectivity' and 'information' are used multiple times. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated and varied lexical items, such as 'interconnectivity', 'data privacy', 'cyber threats', and 'global communication infrastructure'. This would demonstrate greater flexibility and precision. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses ('Although technology may allow...', 'When technology is accessible...'). Grammar and punctuation are accurate throughout, with no significant errors. To reach a higher band, aim for even greater variety in sentence structures, such as using passive voice or conditional forms, and ensure that all sentences are error-free and stylistically refined.

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