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Band 5+: nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. what problems can lack of sleep cause? whatcan be done about lack of sleep?

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Health care professionals suggest sleeping enough is very inportant for both physical and mental health. Recent researches have shown that many individuals are suffering from sleeplessness. There are many reasons underlying on this problem and they should follow some lifestyle changes to get rid of this.

Many factors can affect sleep. Stress can be the major issue. People easily getting stressed because of having financial issues, relationship conflicts, some life events for example death of loved one or seperation, over work load so on. Another big reason is our life style. Most of us spending our free time on mobile phones. This long screen time at nights affect our sleep significantly. For example my friend addicted to mobile video game freefire for two years. After that she suffered from insomnia which is the medical term refers chronic sleeplessness.

There are many ways to fight with stress. Fitness programs are help body to function properly. When we follow some fitness programs like yoga, sports, a walk and exercise, it helps to release dopamine (a happy hormone) so people boost their mental and physical health. A talk with friend and sharing problems can be reduce stress level. For the second reason, people should change their lifestyle as going bed early and follow regular time, avoid caffine in the evenings, changing hobbies like reading, gardening instead of using phones.

Finally, individuals should take care about their sleep pattern and make some changes in their day today actvities and learn how to safe themselfs from stress and burnout.

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

stress: 4

their: 4

health: 3

should: 3

follow: 3

sleep: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a position and relevant main ideas. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and explanations to support your points. Also, ensure a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some coherence, but the progression of ideas is not always smooth. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to separate distinct ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need improvement to enhance the flow of the essay. Consider using clearer topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and ensure that all sentences within a paragraph relate directly to that main idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary. There are instances of inaccurate word choice and imprecise language. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to the topic of sleep and its effects. Pay attention to using synonyms and varied expressions to convey your ideas more effectively. Also, ensure that the words you choose are used correctly in context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors impede clarity and affect the overall quality of the writing. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and practice constructing more complex sentences accurately. Review and correct errors in past papers to avoid repeating them.

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