Positive And Negative

Band 5+: Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

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There is a growing trend where least number of individuals influenced by advertisements as they did in the past. While this shift in people’s preferences may bring undeniable disadvantages especially in terms of decreasing product sale or collapse in marketing industry. Nevertheless, I see this as predominantly advantageous as it often affects ethnical and behavioral implication of youth and force people to buy unnecessary items in the long term.

As we live in technology-driven world, digital devices and social media become extremely popular. in recent history, people become easily influenced by advertisements that first appeared in their devices, and these ads were really new concept for them, so they interested in them. Not only they interested in them but also contribute really effectively for marketing and sales industries by purchasing products appeared as ads on their screen. at first, this doesn’t seem so alarming for them. Historically, people were more significantly influenced by advertising due to a combination of limited information.

However, by now they are less influenced by advertisement thanks to the shift in their mindset. By companies or industries marketing their products that not beneficial yet harmful for people, individuals especially youth are influenced by them and ultimately resulting in immoral behavior. These is exemplified by advertisement of gambling on social media and in television, that affect millions of people regardless of age cohort and ultimately left them in long term stress, financial burden and mentally weakened situation by force them to dive into gambling. Furthermore, excessive amount of scrolling through social media can be worth reasoning for unpopularity of advertisements, because they find it as a means of distraction and try to avoid them. From this perspective, social media is the most factor that push consumers back from advertisements.

in conclusion, it is immediately apparent that, people in the past were prone to advertising due to lack of sources and they seen ads as a means of cultural entertainment. While shift in popularity advertisement is because of technology and personally i believe it is far more advisable as they disconnect from advertisement as it affect negatively for people

Word Count: 351

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

influenced: 5

social: 4

media: 4

their: 4

advertisement: 4

advertisements: 3

shift: 3

marketing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt. You have provided reasons for the decline in advertising influence (technological shifts and changes in mindset) and expressed a clear position that this is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. For example, the second paragraph discusses why people *were* influenced in the past, but it does not clearly link this back to the specific reasons why they are *less* influenced now, which can lead to a lack of focus. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a central, clear topic sentence that directly answers the prompt. Your arguments regarding the negative impacts of advertising (like gambling) are strong, but you should more explicitly connect how the *reduction* in influence acts as a protective mechanism. Additionally, work on grammatical precision and sentence structure; some sentences are fragmented or use awkward phrasing (e.g., 'least number of individuals influenced by advertisements as they did in the past'), which can obscure the clarity of your ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the connection between the 'reasons' and the 'positive/negative' aspect could be more clearly delineated. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (e.g., 'Consequently', 'In contrast', 'As a result') more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

You attempt to use a range of vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'technology-driven', 'immoral behavior', 'financial burden'). However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'least number of individuals influenced', 'worth reasoning for unpopularity', 'most factor'). These errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. To improve, work on learning common collocations and ensure that the words you choose fit the formal tone of an academic essay. Avoid repetitive phrasing and aim for more precise terminology.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occur in almost every sentence. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'These is exemplified'), tense consistency, and sentence structure (e.g., 'Not only they interested in them but also contribute...'). Many sentences are fragments or run-on sentences, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your logic. I recommend focusing on mastering basic sentence structures, particularly complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions.

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Band 5+: Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

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