Opinion

Band 5+: ome people say that large companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what exent do you agree or disagree with this view

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In modern times, we are leading the busiest lifestyle, however, sports and social facilities can remove our monotony. Some people believe that sports and social facilities should be provided for the society by all the giant companies. I strongly agree with the given statement, because sports and social facilities not only help their company’s brand popularity but also, it will assist to grow their business.

The primary reason why I support this view is that the facilities of sports can aid their company’s brand publicity. This is because they can invest money for sports club; which can contribute to the positive thinking about all the giant companies in our local resident. In other words, they can also provide gym facilities in the local community. For example, Although, Basundara is a famous company in Bangladesh, they were created a sports club in last year for the society which name was “Basundara Sports Club”. In addition, most of people were took it positively and they were influenced to use their products in their daily life such as napkin, water, gas and so on. As a result, their products sell was increased.

Another important point to consider is that sports and social facilities may assist to grow their business. In addition, if they can start campaign for new products, it will help them to introduce their new products in the local community. Moreover, they can also provide membership card for local resident that will allow them to use gymnasium. However, the individual of local community who will have membership card, they will get around 20% discount. For instance, 2 years ago USA’s Apple company, they were provided membership card for their clients that had access to use their gym; which played a crucial role in the society. As a result, not only people were influenced by them, but also Apple had touched the milestone record of revenue that year to sell their products.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that all enormous companies ought to give sports and social facilities for local residents. This is mainly because for their brand popularity, and to enhance their business.

Word Count: 352

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 13

sports: 9

facilities: 7

local: 6

social: 5

products: 4

people: 3

society: 3

companies: 3

because: 3

brand: 3

which: 3

community: 3

membership: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of agreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but the development lacks depth and precision. The examples are somewhat generic and not fully elaborated. To improve, focus on providing more specific and detailed reasoning, and ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the prompt. Additionally, avoid minor lapses in clarity and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'which can contribute to the positive thinking about all the giant companies in our local resident' is confusing. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or incorrect, such as 'In addition, most of people were took it positively' and 'Moreover, they can also provide membership card...'. The paragraphing is adequate, but the development of ideas within paragraphs could be more logical and smoother.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'brand popularity', 'local community', 'membership card', and 'milestone record'. However, there are several lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'remove our monotony', 'brand publicity', 'positive thinking about all the giant companies', and 'products sell was increased'. The word choice is sometimes imprecise, and the essay would benefit from more sophisticated and natural vocabulary. For example, instead of 'giant companies', use 'large corporations' or 'multinational companies'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include 'they were created a sports club' (should be 'they created'), 'most of people were took it positively' (should be 'most people took it positively'), and 'they will get around 20% discount' (should be 'a 20% discount'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage. Punctuation is sometimes incorrect, such as the use of semicolons and commas. To improve, the writer should focus on accuracy in basic grammar and sentence construction.

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