Opinion

Band 4+: Online shopping is significantly increasing. (What effect does this have on people, what are the demerits and what are the job opportunities?)

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Online shopping is considerably growing. What impact on does this have individuals , what are the benefits and what are the employment opportunities . From my point of view online shopping more beneficial for sellers as, provide income in home . Nevertheless costumers to be deceived in addition they can’t see and touch the tools they won’t to buy.

One main reason why online shopping provides decent opportunities for sellers , as , dealer could sell their products or clothes in their own home or any suitable places. For instance , when some people aspire to trade but they have shortage financial , that individuals could trade and income in home . Online selling in home is convenient , because traders should not to pay money for place where they trade. Therefore online shopping is prosperous and good way for income or to make money.

In my opinion purchasers to be deceived through products they have ordered. Despite online shopping is comfortable to get something more faster and save a mount of time but in many situations shoppers are damaged by sellers about bill and products quality. For instance they order some kind of products from online markets , they will be disappointed and deceived product quality. In many times a lot of products does not deserve their cost. Therefore costumers should be productive what they going to order.

In conclusion . I believe that online trading convenient way for income in home and beneficial for traders however in many situations shoppers to be disappointed and products does nor worth their cost.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 8

products: 6

shopping: 5

income: 4

their: 4

sellers: 3

deceived: 3

trade: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is limited. While you identify the benefits for sellers and the risks for consumers, the discussion regarding 'job opportunities' is somewhat narrow, focusing only on home-based trading rather than the broader employment landscape (such as logistics, delivery, or IT). The position is discernible, but the supporting arguments lack depth and precision. To improve, ensure that each part of the prompt is explored thoroughly. For the 'job opportunities' section, try to expand beyond just 'selling from home' to include the wider economic impact. Additionally, work on the logical flow of your arguments; some ideas are repetitive, and the connection between sentences could be strengthened to ensure a more cohesive progression of thought.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (like 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', or 'Consequently') more naturally to link sentences. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of that section.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and limited. There are several instances of incorrect word choices (e.g., 'tools' instead of 'products', 'damaged' instead of 'deceived' or 'cheated', and 'productive' instead of 'cautious'). To reach a higher band, try to use a wider range of synonyms and collocations related to commerce, such as 'e-commerce', 'consumerism', 'entrepreneurship', and 'transactional security'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence structure (e.g., 'purchasers to be deceived'), and the use of prepositions. I recommend studying sentence construction, specifically how to form complete independent clauses, and practicing the use of complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions like 'although', 'because', and 'while'.

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