Discussion

Band 7+: People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern-day society

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Nowadays, many young people use both legal and illegal drugs at a young age, which has become a serious problem in modern society. This essay will discuss the main causes of this issue and its consequences.

There are several reasons why the use of drugs has become widespread among young people. The first important factor is the people around them. This is because friends and even family members can influence their behaviour by encouraging them to try drugs. Another cause is the influence of entertainment media. Movies and series that include such content can make drug use seem normal. As a result, young people may not see it as a serious problem. In addition, advertisements and online content can also contribute to this issue by making drugs more accessible. For example, some illegal sellers promote drugs through social networks, which makes it easier for teenagers to obtain them.

This problem has serious effects on both individuals and society. One of the main consequences is addiction, which can lead to criminal behaviour. Drug users may want to take drugs repeatedly, and as a result, they may commit crimes such as stealing money to get them. This increases the overall crime rate. Moreover, drug use can seriously damage a person’s health. Both legal and illegal drugs can cause overdose and harm important organs such as the brain, heart, and lungs. In some cases, this may even lead to death.

In conclusion, drug use among young people is a serious issue. It is mainly caused by social influence and media, and it leads to negative consequences such as health problems and increased crime rates.

Word Count: 271

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

drugs: 7

young: 5

people: 5

serious: 4

illegal: 3

which: 3

problem: 3

issue: 3

influence: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. For example, the essay mentions the influence of media but could provide more specific examples or elaborate on how media normalizes drug use. To improve, focus on developing your ideas more fully with specific examples and explanations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear and logical argument, with well-defined paragraphs that address the causes and effects of drug abuse among young people. The use of cohesive devices is effective, creating a smooth flow of ideas. To further enhance coherence, consider adding more specific examples or elaborations within each paragraph to strengthen the connections between ideas. For instance, when discussing the influence of media, providing a specific example of a movie or series and its potential impact could add depth.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, used appropriately to discuss the topic. The language is generally accurate and effective in conveying the intended meaning. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary related to addiction, social influence, or the specific effects of different drugs. Exploring synonyms and more sophisticated phrasing could also elevate the writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with full flexibility and control. The grammar and punctuation are accurate throughout, contributing to the clarity and readability of the essay. There are virtually no errors, demonstrating a strong command of the English language.

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