Opinion

Band 4+: People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Nowadays. Ideal society is much essential for toward better humanity society. However, some peoples are trying to change the society as a ideal and that plan might be fail according to implementing. My opinion is we can build the society toward ideal aspect implementing by tactical methods. I would like to discuss this topic via this essay by providing practical examples.

In contemporary, world tend with technical background, moreover most of the individuals are spend busy schedule related with theirs occupations. Result is humans are not attending to other humans problems, besides, will not to tend listening or involving problems in personally. Which are not discipline of ideal society. However, by implementing some tactical strategies we can create better society. As an example, arrange some motivation sessions for younger segments and as well as practical sessions. Implementing positive attitude lecture serious and highlighted importance the humanities in global and locally. What’s more not enough this, wants to implement that theory in practically at the working areas. Secondly, should convince for every individuals humanity is much essential, because we can’t living or success our day today activities without helping others. Besides, teamwork concept build via humanity and that will be much involves for toward ideal society.

My opinion is building ideal society is not challenge and major is involving every one with same better ideas. Although, Society is larger or complex, better thing is go forward with tactical and better thoughts.

Word Count: 240

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

society: 8

ideal: 6

better: 5

implementing: 4

toward: 3

humanity: 3

tactical: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity. While a position is presented, the explanation of what constitutes an 'ideal society' is quite vague, and the methods proposed for creating one are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The connection between the ideas and the prompt is sometimes difficult to follow due to grammatical issues and awkward phrasing. To improve, you should: 1. Clearly define your concept of an 'ideal society' in the introduction (e.g., is it a society based on equality, technology, or kindness?). 2. Develop your body paragraphs by providing more specific, logical steps. Instead of just mentioning 'tactical methods,' explain exactly how these methods work and why they would lead to an ideal society. 3. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence that directly answers the prompt. 4. Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to ensure your arguments are communicated clearly to the reader. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat logical, but the progression of thoughts is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. While you attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'However', 'Secondly', 'What's more'), they are often used incorrectly or do not effectively link the ideas. To improve, focus on using transition words to create a smooth flow between sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence that guides the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word forms (e.g., 'peoples' instead of 'people', 'humanity society' instead of 'human society') and awkward collocations (e.g., 'implementing by tactical methods'). To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of precise vocabulary and focus on learning how words function together naturally in English (collocations).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impede the reader's ability to understand your meaning. There are issues with sentence structure (fragmented sentences), subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and word order. For example, 'most of the individuals are spend busy schedule' is grammatically incorrect. I recommend studying basic sentence structures (Subject + Verb + Object) and practicing the use of complex sentences through subordinating conjunctions to improve accuracy.

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