Opinion

Band 4+: Public transport should be funded by the government so that it can be free for people who use it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people argue that public transport without payment should be introduced for everyone. In my opinion, I disagree because of the financial burden on the government and people’s financial conditions.

To begin with, it would be expensive for the government if they entered free transport payments to each person as a law. If it happens, the government will need to increase the amount of funding for only transportation. It would require more money for mechanics who repair cars, drivers, and other pieces of machinery that are used for repairing. For example, authorities would waste 50% of their money to buy buses and 30% to give a salary to drivers and mechanics and 20% to other needs.

On the other hand, most people can afford to pay a reasonable fare. Because in many countries economies are stable and individual citizens get a high salary and it means their financial situation is much better. In addition, the cost of public transport is affordable for many people. For instance, in Kazakhstan it costs about 70-120 tenge and also there is a discount for students and elderly residents.

In conclusion, I disagree with this statement that public machines ought to be free of charge to every human as it results in a load to the authorities’ finance and individuals’ funding resourse.

Word Count: 217

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 3

public: 3

transport: 3

financial: 3

government: 3

would: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks depth. The first body paragraph introduces the idea of a financial burden on the government, but the example provided (the percentage breakdown of spending) is somewhat arbitrary and does not strongly support the argument that making transport free is inherently problematic. The second body paragraph argues that people can afford to pay, but the connection between 'stable economies' and the necessity of paying for transport could be more logically developed. To improve, try to extend your arguments by explaining the 'why' and 'how' more thoroughly. For instance, instead of just stating that the government would need more money, explain how this might lead to higher taxes or a reduction in other essential services like healthcare or education. This would create a more sophisticated and well-supported argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat limited. The transition between the idea of government burden and the specific breakdown of percentages feels a bit abrupt. To improve, try to use more sophisticated cohesive devices and ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next. For example, instead of just listing percentages, explain how this specific allocation of funds demonstrates the 'burden' mentioned in your topic sentence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but repetitive and occasionally imprecise. Terms like 'public machines' or 'entered free transport payments' are not natural collocations in English. Instead of 'public machines,' use 'public transport systems' or 'vehicles.' Instead of 'entered... as a law,' use 'implemented' or 'enacted.' Aim to use a wider range of academic synonyms to avoid repeating words like 'money,' 'people,' and 'financial' too frequently. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that occasionally hinder the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, improper use of articles, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'if they entered free transport payments to each person as a law'). Work on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that your use of prepositions and articles is accurate. Practicing the use of conditional sentences (If/Unless) more precisely would also strengthen your arguments.

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Band 4+: Public transport should be funded by the government so that it can be free for people who use it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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