Opinion

Band 4+: Research shows that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than other experiences in life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.

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Many researchers illustrates that the characteristics we are born have much more express on our look and the express from our life experiences. The purpose of this essay is to explain major expression I will agree with second point.

The first point of view is Those characteristics are more influence on our personality which receive with their birth. The prime one is that genes expression. To explain it, this statement is right from the perspective of science and world because the science is prove it our parents genes is expressed and dominant in the child. means if their parents eyesight is weak so many more chances baby is the born with low eyesight. for example – one study prove in uk from researchers which parents scientists pick up seven group of couples and to encourage for reproduce to born child scientists picks seven different group like one couple is have black colour, and have white and many more differences the result is very shocking seven out of six babies genes are express expect as their parents meant they personality fully influence on their parents.The second point of view is expiences are more impact on the personality of human. I also agree with this statement I believe it genes are express the time of birth but the 60-65% personality depend on experiences like – behavior, mentality, how to deal with other people. The prime one is that environment. To elaborate it, when baby born in the beautiful peace and happy family so most of chance is baby will be extrovert in the future but in oppose child born in unhappy introvert family the most chance child will be introvert in their future because the environment most strong impact on the human because the child because ability is adaptation and neuroplasticity means in all time of life they are exited and ready to learn new and adapt new environment.

In conclusion, the genes are most express on the human but life experiences are more and more influence on the human personality so I will agree with the life experiences like environment most impact on the human personality.

Word Count: 355

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

personality: 6

express: 5

their: 5

genes: 5

child: 5

human: 5

experiences: 4

because: 4

parents: 4

agree: 3

influence: 3

seven: 3

impact: 3

environment: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a clear position: that life experiences are the major influence. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the writer attempts to use scientific concepts like neuroplasticity and genetic inheritance, the explanations are often unclear due to significant grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The example provided regarding the UK study is difficult to follow and lacks logical clarity. To improve, focus on the following: 1. **Clarity of Expression**: Work on sentence structure to ensure that your arguments are easy to follow. Many sentences are fragmented or use words incorrectly (e.g., using 'express' instead of 'influence' or 'impact'). 2. **Logical Development**: Ensure that examples directly support your point. The example about the seven couples needs to be explained more precisely to show how it relates to personality rather than just physical traits. 3. **Cohesion**: Use a wider range of cohesive devices (linking words) to connect your ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. 4. **Grammar and Vocabulary**: Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of parts of speech (e.g., distinguishing between nouns, verbs, and adjectives) to prevent the meaning from becoming obscured.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often difficult to follow due to poor sentence structure and weak cohesive devices. To improve, focus on using logical transition words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', 'Consequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and often repetitive. There is frequent misuse of words, such as using 'express' or 'expression' when 'influence' or 'impact' would be more appropriate. To improve, work on building a wider range of academic vocabulary and focus on learning word collocations (how words naturally fit together) to avoid unnatural phrasing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence construction (e.g., 'the science is prove it'). Many sentences are fragmented or run-on. I recommend focusing on mastering basic sentence structures, correct verb forms, and the use of articles before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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