Opinion

Band 5+: Research shows that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than other experiences in life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.

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Studies have shown that the traits inherited have a much higher impact on psychological development in comparison to environmental influences. The essay will highlight how genetics plays a more prominent role in shaping personality.

To begin, traits act as a biological marker. It creates a boundary within which development is possible for an individual. An adequate environment helps this process flourish. For instance, two individuals having a relatively similar environment would possess very different psychological traits, as traits inherited would overpower environmental influences.

Furthermore, twin association studies have shown how twins separated at birth growing up in a contrasting environment still indicated having similar traits such as intelligence quotient. Although the environment plays a vital role in shaping the personality of an individual, it ultimately is a result of traits acquired at birth.

To summarize, inherited traits are much more dominant in nature when it comes to the formation of personality, even though environmental influences help shape it

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

traits: 7

environment: 4

inherited: 3

environmental: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, arguing that inherited traits have a greater influence on personality development than environmental factors. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the twin studies. However, the support for the ideas could be more precise and fully developed. To improve, consider elaborating on the mechanisms through which genetics influence personality and providing more specific details about the twin studies mentioned. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The main points are presented logically. However, the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be strengthened to improve the flow of ideas. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, and the word choice is generally appropriate. To further enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more precise and nuanced vocabulary related to personality development and genetics. Explore synonyms and collocations to add depth to your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. While the grammar is mostly accurate, there are a few areas where improvements can be made. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence construction to minimize errors. Reviewing and editing your work carefully can help improve grammatical accuracy.

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