Opinion

Band 7+: Research shows that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than other experiences in life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.

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It is often argued that the characteristics people are born with have a greater impact on their personality and development than their life experiences. While genetic factors play an important role, I believe that life experiences have a greater influence on shaping a person’s character and future.

On the one hand, some personality traits are inherited from parents. For example, a person may naturally be intelligent, confident or shy because of their genetic background. These characteristics can influence how people behave and interact with others. In addition, some individuals may have natural talents in areas such as music, sports or mathematics. Therefore, it is clear that genetic factors contribute to personality and development.

On the other hand, I believe that life experiences have a more significant impact on people’s lives. This is because family, education, friends and the surrounding environment can change the way individuals think and behave. For instance, children who grow up in supportive families often become more confident and responsible. Similarly, students who receive a good education and face different challenges can develop important skills and become more independent. These experiences help people improve themselves over time.

In conclusion, although inherited characteristics play an important role in shaping personality, I believe that life experiences have a greater influence because they help individuals develop their behaviour, abilities and attitudes throughout their lives.

Word Count: 224

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 5

experiences: 5

personality: 4

characteristics: 3

people: 3

greater: 3

genetic: 3

important: 3

believe: 3

influence: 3

because: 3

individuals: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both genetic and experiential influences, and it clearly states and supports the writer's position that life experiences are the major influence. The ideas are relevant and well-developed with examples. To achieve a higher score, consider exploring the topic in more depth, such as acknowledging the interaction between nature and nurture, and providing more nuanced or extended support for the arguments. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The argument is presented logically, and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion') helps the reader follow the flow. However, to achieve a band 9, you could enhance cohesion by using more varied linking phrases and ensuring that each paragraph's topic sentence is more explicitly connected to the overall thesis. The paragraphing is effective, but a slightly more sophisticated use of referencing and substitution would make the essay even more seamless.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and accurate, with some good collocations (e.g., 'genetic background', 'supportive families', 'develop important skills'). However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is room for more sophisticated and less common vocabulary. For instance, instead of 'important role', you could use 'significant role' or 'pivotal role'; instead of 'change the way individuals think', you could use 'shape individuals' cognitive processes'. To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider variety of precise terms and idiomatic expressions, while maintaining naturalness. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and conditional forms (e.g., 'children who grow up in supportive families often become more confident'). Punctuation and grammar are used correctly throughout, with no noticeable errors. To achieve a band 9, you could incorporate more varied sentence structures, such as inversion or cleft sentences, and ensure that complex structures are used with full flexibility. The current accuracy is high, but the range could be expanded to show even greater control.

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Band 7+: Research shows that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than other experiences in life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Research shows that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than other experiences in life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.

Research shows that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than other experiences in life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.

Research shows that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than other experiences in life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.

Research shows that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than other experiences in life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.

Other Topics:

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Remote work has become increasingly common in recent years. Some argue this impairs work habits generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

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