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Band 5+: Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be engaged to do some other useful activities?

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Doing a shopping is the best way for wasting free time for new generation.

i partly agree with this statement. To begin with, on the one hand there are some people who can relax and being with themselves while they are doing the shopping . For some individuals, it is one of the best way to de-stress and have a rest after a difficult day. At the time, when young people, especially females buy something for instance: a new bag, glasses or even a small thing it make them more happy. Moreover, it is more interesting go for a shopping with their friends or even with their siblings. Young people can ask their opinion and spend an incredible time together.

On the other hand, nowadays our society has so many different ways to waste your time right such as : cooking, attending master class and after this make new friends and have an unforgettable memories. Moreover, nowadays social media are improving day by day and young teenagers can follow and discover more things to do except shopping. In today’s time, being in company with your closest friends and discuss various topics is more interesting, than something like go for a shopping, especially in your free time .

In conclusion, shopping is the best way to relax for some teenagers and there is no bad things in it.

Word Count: 227

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

shopping: 6

people: 3

young: 3

their: 3

friends: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the benefits of alternative activities. Also, ensure a clearer connection between your ideas and the prompt's questions. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In contrast' can help to connect ideas more smoothly. The essay also lacks a clear thesis statement in the introduction.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and lacks precision. There are instances of informal language ('waste your time right such as') and some awkward phrasing ('being with themselves'). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to the appropriate register for academic writing. Consider using a thesaurus to find synonyms for common words. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('Doing a shopping is the best way'), subject-verb agreement issues ('it make them more happy'), and incorrect preposition usage ('go for a shopping'). Sentence structure is also often simple and lacks complexity. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practice writing more complex sentences using a variety of structures.

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Band 5+: Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be engaged to do some other useful activities?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be engaged to do some other useful activities?

Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be engaged to do some other useful activities?

Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be engaged to do some other useful activities?

Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be engaged to do some other useful activities?

Other Topics:

Today, many people choose to move from the countryside to the cities. What problems can this situation cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

Many people do not have a healthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and what can be done?

The workplace is changing rapidly and many people can no longer rely on having one job their entire life. Describe the possible causes of this and suggest how this problem can be dealt with.

Some people believe that it is better to grow up in the countryside rather than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience?

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits than drawbacks to young people?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

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