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Band 5+: Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be engaged to do some other useful activities?

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Doing a shopping is the best way for wasting free time for new generation.

i partly agree with this statement. To begin with, on the one hand there are some people who can relax and being with themselves while they are doing the shopping . For some individuals, it is one of the best way to de-stress and have a rest after a difficult day. At the time, when young people, especially females buy something for instance: a new bag, glasses or even a small thing it make them more happy. Moreover, it is more interesting go for a shopping with their friends or even with their siblings. Young people can ask their opinion and spend an incredible time together.

On the other hand, nowadays our society has so many different ways to waste your time right such as : cooking, attending master class and after this make new friends and have an unforgettable memories. Moreover, nowadays social media are improving day by day and young teenagers can follow and discover more things to do except shopping. In today’s time, being in company with your closest friends and discuss various topics is more interesting, than something like go for a shopping, especially in your free time .

In conclusion, shopping is the best way to relax for some teenagers and there is no bad things in it.

Word Count: 227

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

shopping: 6

people: 3

young: 3

their: 3

friends: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the benefits of alternative activities. Also, ensure a clearer connection between your ideas and the prompt's questions. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In contrast' can help to connect ideas more smoothly. The essay also lacks a clear thesis statement in the introduction.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and lacks precision. There are instances of informal language ('waste your time right such as') and some awkward phrasing ('being with themselves'). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to the appropriate register for academic writing. Consider using a thesaurus to find synonyms for common words. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('Doing a shopping is the best way'), subject-verb agreement issues ('it make them more happy'), and incorrect preposition usage ('go for a shopping'). Sentence structure is also often simple and lacks complexity. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practice writing more complex sentences using a variety of structures.

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