Opinion

Band 4+: Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is proposed by some people believe that some children find some subjects as mathematics and philosophy difficult and they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. I agree with their believes .In further paragrapgh i will give you reason and discuss my piont of view.

If i talk about the subjects of philosophy and mathematics .Both are quite difficult and many of the students find difficulty in both subjects during the study.Many of the students are good in other subjects but they are very low in math because they have no interest in math.If they are trying to solve the questions they are no do this because their understanding and capability about this subjects is zero.

If they solve math questions they do not do so. On the other hand philosophy is also a quite difficukt for many of students .Because they are not able to understand the philosopjy concepts .In our education system Government should provide students options to select the course or subjects according to their interest or desire.If this type of system will be implemented in our education system .Students will grow in education field and in this way our country will progress by leaps and bounds.

From my perspective many of the children are very high or good in other subjects but due to these both subjects many of the children progress are slow or less in the results of academic field. In this way they lose their interest in studies and prefer to work because they think that they are not able to do this. If our educational system will be uodated and provide children many opportunities then they perform good in educational field and also succeed in life.

In the end ,it is concluded that every person have like and dislikes according to thier choice in studies . If our education system provide students to freedom to select the subjects .Definitely, they perform very well in the educational field. And in this way they become the successful person of the country and they also perform good in job field.If they perform good obviously they have the chance to get good salary .In this way they lived a good life also contribute to the progress of country.

Word Count: 373

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subjects: 9

students: 6

system: 5

children: 4

their: 4

because: 4

education: 4

field: 4

perform: 4

philosophy: 3

other: 3

interest: 3

provide: 3

country: 3

progress: 3

educational: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by agreeing that difficult subjects should be optional, and a position is presented. However, the development is limited and repetitive, with ideas not fully extended or supported. The argument focuses on students' lack of interest and ability, but lacks depth and specific examples. To improve, provide a more balanced discussion (e.g., consider counterarguments), develop each point with clear reasoning and examples, and ensure a clear structure with topic sentences. Also, avoid repetition and improve clarity of expression.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by abrupt transitions and repetitive phrasing. The introduction is somewhat awkward and does not clearly present the writer's position. Paragraphing is present but not always logical, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate. To improve, focus on creating a clear thesis statement, using a range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', 'As a result'), and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting details. Avoid informal phrases like 'If i talk about' and 'In the end'.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent repetition of words like 'children', 'subjects', 'difficult', and 'good'. There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'piont', 'uodated', 'philosopjy') and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'believes' instead of 'beliefs', 'do this' instead of 'able to do this'). To improve, expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and collocations related to education and personal choice. Use more precise and varied terms, such as 'compulsory', 'elective', 'aptitude', 'cognitive abilities', and 'academic performance'. Proofread carefully to eliminate spelling errors. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'every person have'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'they are no do this'), and missing or incorrect articles (e.g., 'a quite difficult'). Sentence structures are often simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and periods. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures, such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, and passive voice. Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. Proofread your work to correct punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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Band 4+: Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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