Opinion

Band 5+: Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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For children, few things are more important than mathematics and philosophy. In many developed and developing countries, a lot of money is spent on mathematics and philosophy as in most cases, they may require a number of study related implements, such as book, paper, pen, pencil and eraser. However, I would say that children should study mathematics and philosophy at school.

Naturally, mathematics and philosophy in the form of development are considered to be more important for children, creating such facility of standard of livelihood which is not available from others. They can be very effective in the field of the progression of a nation as well. Besides, in many situations, mathematics and philosophy can result in a significant contribution towards development assistance systems of a nation. Perticipaiting children are able to overcome a number of hurdles which they experience on a regular basis. In addition, mathematics and philosophy can boost an emotion that motivates people to stay away from other mental states, such as frustration, depression, apathy and indifference.

In some cases, children avoid mathematics and philosophy as a consequence of facing a range of challenges, such as mental and physical crisis, injury and violence, financial crisis, environmental quality, emptiness and monotony. Consequently, archiving the ways of better life and career can be hampered. Actually, mathematics and philosophy require a big amount of money. So, it is not restricted to the rich. Children who represent poor socioeconomic status, on the other hand, experience financial barrier and cannot do it due to lack of accountability, as well as would be less successful in mathematics and philosophy. As a result, mathematics and philosophy can create a gap between rich and poor students.

It seems clear, therefore, that it is a good idea for children to take an interest in mathematics and philosophy. As a result, children will feel better as well as educational and national development will be ensured.

Word Count: 318

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

mathematics: 11

philosophy: 11

children: 8

development: 3

result: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the topic, but the development of ideas is not always clear, and some points are repetitive. The position is present but could be more strongly articulated and consistently maintained throughout the essay. To improve, focus on providing clearer, more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and contributes to your overall position. Also, work on using more precise language and avoiding generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas is not always logical. The introduction states the writer's opinion, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader. The conclusion summarizes the main points but could be more impactful. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea, and use transition words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using a more structured approach, such as outlining your main points before writing.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some words and phrases used repetitively. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, it lacks the sophistication and precision needed for a higher score. To improve lexical resource, try to use synonyms and paraphrasing to express ideas in different ways. Also, focus on learning and incorporating more specific and nuanced vocabulary related to the topic.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including issues with sentence structure, verb tense, and word choice. These errors sometimes impede understanding. While the essay demonstrates some range in grammatical structures, the accuracy is inconsistent. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing and practicing basic grammar rules. Pay close attention to sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct word choice. Proofreading carefully and seeking feedback from others can also help identify and correct errors.

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Band 5+: Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children find some subjects such as mathematic and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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