Opinion

Band 4+: Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people claim that it is better to spend lot of money for encourage students in sports and games than spend lot of money fro athletetes who prepare for major sports events in the world.While it is true that encourage students for sports and games, I strongly agree that the athletes and sprotsmen who prepare for Olympic games and FIFA Footbal competition present the hounur for their countriy.The essay will discuss the both sides of this argument and the reasons.

Participate for major competitions such as Olympic games and the FIFA Football competitions is very important for every atheltes and sportsmen .Because these major events consider as the hardest sport events to participate in the sport industry.For that their encourage and practice is not enough.They need support for achive their dreams. The athletes who particpate these major sports peresnt their country. So consider of this matter , funding is the most important source for them . Because they need sport experts for practice , sport clothes and other equipments , flight tickets and other expenses.For achive this natonal challenge they need funding support from every sources in their country, as an indeed responsilbitly .For example , in Sri Lanka the main sport sponser patner for atheletes who participate Olympic in 2022 was MAS Holdings .

On the other hand , encourage students for games and other sports like football, cricket, vollyball, chess, netball and others are not much important .Because every student can learn the basic lessons of every sports from their school. .Also students can play sports at the school with their friends and can get practical fundamental therioes about sports from their PT teachers..And every facilities that need for play sports provided by the government.For example Annual sport meets event can improve students sport skills without any funding support in Sri Lanka .

In conclusion, Students can encourage and improve their sport skills without any funding support however the atheletes who hope to perform in major sports definetly need funding support without any doubt .

Word Count: 337

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 10

their: 9

sport: 8

students: 6

encourage: 5

games: 5

major: 5

every: 5

support: 5

funding: 5

other: 4

events: 3

olympic: 3

important: 3

because: 3

without: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, but the development is limited and lacks clarity in places. The main ideas are relevant but not fully extended or supported with specific examples. There are also issues with coherence and accuracy in expression. To improve, focus on developing each point with more detailed explanation and relevant examples, ensure a clear and logical structure, and proofread for grammatical and spelling errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is often disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear referencing. For example, the introduction states 'I strongly agree' but the essay then discusses both sides without a clear focus. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and the connection between ideas is sometimes weak. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'however', 'in addition') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'sports', 'funding', 'encourage'). There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'fro', 'athletetes', 'hounur', 'countriy', 'atheltes', 'particpate', 'peresnt', 'achive', 'natonal', 'responsilbitly', 'sponser', 'vollyball', 'therioes', 'definetly') and inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'present the hounur' instead of 'bring honor'). To improve, expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied terms. Also, proofread to eliminate spelling errors. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Participate for major competitions... is very important'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'spend lot of money for encourage'), missing articles (e.g., 'the main sport sponser patner'), and punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas, run-on sentences). The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple and repetitive patterns. To improve, practice using a variety of complex and compound sentences, and review basic grammar rules such as subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb tense consistency.

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