Discussion

Band 4+: Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that having a high salary is very great thing. while it is commonly held believe that getting a high salary it is crucial than having a enjoyable work. there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that a huge amount of money better than your dream job.

To begin with, cash can make happiness more than getting a job you enjoy. In other words, Nowadays we have a common quote could ” money talks”, which is mean cash these days are talks it does not matter how your the matter how much do you have. In addition, we will like your job if the work give you this huge income after that you will forget your enjoyable work. For example, there is a study in KFU “King Fahd University” so this study shows that most of people become loving their jobs after having a high salary even if they do not like their work before.

Another point to consider, you will make your family happiness wich also that make you happy. It is also possible to say that ”don not be selfish” because if you get your enjoyable job you will be happy alone. Moreover, the responsibilities in terms of bills or rent price will decrease. For instance, you will not be caring about the money and how you can afford your all of your needs.

In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that having a high salary is more important then having a comfortable job.

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

having: 6

salary: 4

there: 3

enjoyable: 3

money: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, but the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity. The arguments are relevant but not fully extended or supported with specific, well-explained examples. There is some repetition and the conclusion is brief. To improve, focus on developing each main idea with more detailed explanation and relevant examples, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and avoid informal language and grammatical errors that affect clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'In other words' is used incorrectly). Paragraphing is present but not always logical, and the progression of arguments could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words accurately and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed coherently.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'high salary', 'enjoyable work', 'responsibilities'), but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'make happiness', 'cash can make happiness', 'it is crucial than'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some phrases are informal or unclear (e.g., 'money talks' is used but not explained well). To improve, expand your vocabulary for discussing work and money, and practice using words in the correct context. Avoid repetition and aim for more precise and natural expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that significantly affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it is commonly held believe'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'getting a high salary it is crucial'), missing articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas, incorrect capitalization). Sentence structures are often simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing a variety of sentence types, and proofread carefully to eliminate errors. Focus on accuracy before attempting more complex structures.

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