Opinion

Band 6+: Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money on the protection of wild animals and plants because humanity has more important problems to solve. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

It has been an ongoing debate whether money should be spent for the conversation of wildlife over the past decade. Many people agree while some oppose this expenditure of money. In my perspective, I completely agree with the utilization of money for protection of wild animals and plants, particularly due to their role in the natural ecological cycle and the benefits we can get from them.

One of the contributing reasons is natural ecological cycle, like food cycle, which maintains the balance of biodiversity on earth. This maintenance is necessary for the world to function properly, without facing any significant problems. For instance, when a plant species go extinct, the predators of that species get food deprived, leading to their reduced numbers, ultimately disturbing the whole ecological cycle.

Another worth considering factor would be the benefits of these wild species. Wild flora and fauna are a main source of many modern medications and treatments, contributing to the medical procedures of chronic diseases. These medications derived from the Wildlife can save my lives, specifically the patients of cancer.

On the contrary, the proponents opinion of this money being getting waste is totally wrong. Saving the biodiversity helps in the survival of humanity by giving the ingredients that are not found elsewhere on earth.

In conclusion, the expenditure of money for the protection of wildlife is necessary for the maintenance of biodiversity and management of the ecological cycle, and source of components for making medicines and drugs. I strongly oppose the people who are against this idea and think that it is a total waste of money, when it is not.

Word Count: 269

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

money: 6

ecological: 4

cycle: 4

wildlife: 3

biodiversity: 3

species: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, agreeing with spending money on wildlife protection. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the ecological cycle and medical benefits. However, the development of ideas could be more precise and focused. For instance, the ecological cycle example could be elaborated more clearly, and the medical benefits point could be strengthened with more specific details. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion of the opposing view, as the counterargument is dismissed rather than fully explored. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all ideas are fully extended and logically connected.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved. The transition from the second body paragraph to the third is abrupt, and the third body paragraph is underdeveloped. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more concise. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'On the other hand') to link paragraphs and ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'ecological cycle', 'biodiversity', 'wild flora and fauna', and 'chronic diseases'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'conversation of wildlife' (should be 'conservation'), 'proponents opinion' (should be 'proponents' opinion'), and 'getting waste' (should be 'being wasted'). To improve, use more precise and natural collocations, and proofread for word choice errors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'when a plant species go extinct' should be 'when a plant species goes extinct', and 'can save my lives' should be 'can save lives'. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. To improve, review grammar rules for subject-verb agreement, articles, and pluralization, and practice writing more complex sentences with accuracy.

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